Entering a new season of life can feel like the start of a thrill ride. We start out with the best intentions, goals and attitude, focusing on what we hope to ultimately achieve — whether that’s launching a new business, better self-care or finding peace, the possibilities are endless. In these moments of expectancy, we seldom take into account the baggage we’ve packed for the journey.
A key element to living a healthier and more fulfilling life is being mindful of the people by whom we are surrounded. Having genuine people who care about your success, mind, body and spirit is an integral asset on your path to success. Having the wrong people along for the ride can keep you from living to your fullest potential.
Here are five personality types you should divorce before walking into your new season:
Do your friends really know you? I’ve learned many people befriend who they think you to be. When you're in the company of a person or a certain group of people, are you able to be your authentic self? Or do you conform in an effort to gain acceptance? If you find yourself conforming, how does it feel? Are you afraid of introducing the real you? Did you give your circle of friends a glimpse of who you are and they weren’t receptive? Or perhaps you changed in an area of your life and that evolution makes them feel uncomfortable. For example, choosing a different spiritual path than the one you’d been pursuing. Maybe you’re no longer interested in traditional Church but are now into all things Universe, chakras, crystals and meditation. What would happen if you told your group of churchgoing friends? Whatever the case, you must be confident with yourself first. If your friends accept another version of you, keep growing together. If you’re met with resistance at every turn, it might be time to part ways.
Do you find yourself drained when you interact with that one certain person? Is this individual always complaining? Does it seem as if nothing is ever going right in their life? And when you try to pour into them with positivity do they respond negatively? These types of people rarely see the good in life. Being around this personality type can greatly affect your positivity leading you to become more negative, stressed or anxious with yourself and those around you. Negative energy reaps negative energy. It’s a toxic cycle. Your goal is to sow and reap positivity, not just for you, but for those around you.
Let’s face it. Many people use gossip as a bridge to connect. Do you have friends who only want to get together to discuss other people? If there was no gossip to dish, would there even be a friendship? When you're in a growth season, a lot of the work is centered around truthful evaluations. Taking pleasure in discussing or judging other people and their shortcomings speaks loudly about your sense of self. Gossiping creates distrust. If a person is willing to gossip about others why should any topic be considered off limits, you included? Gossip adds no value to your life; it lowers your vibration which leaves little room for blessings to flow.
The Dream Killers
You know those “friends” who seem to pick apart every one of your ideas or endeavors with statements like, “You’re not qualified.” Or, “Do you know how many other people are walking around with that same idea," and “I just don’t see it happening.” They always seem to minimize what you are trying to accomplish. If you have people in your life who make you feel your dreams are too big, you might want to quality check your circle. I have come to learn that some people like when you’re doing well as long as you’re not doing better than them. Do a litmus test. When you reach your goals and are enjoying the accolades that come with it, watch those people in your circle who don’t celebrate you or show a lack of enthusiasm. Take a step back and analyze. You might spot a dream killer.
When we hear the word “controlling” in relationships, we tend to think about intimate partners. That’s not always the case. Controlling relationships apply to friendships, too. Does your friend want you to spend most of your free time with them? Do they get upset when you spend time with other friends? Are they demanding and manipulative? Do they often create unnecessary drama and behave as if they are entitled to your time? This can have a profound effect on your self-worth, self-esteem, and energy. When will you have time to work on your goals if you’re constantly engaged in someone else’s life? True friends respect your space, your time and your person. Controlling friends? Not so much. Dictators are a hindrance. Their interests are self-centered.
Many unhealthy connections are disguised as friendships. If we're honest with ourselves, we know these relationships are destructive and should be severed. But out of fear, we leave them intact. Blessings aren’t born out of fear. Blessings flow from a place of love. There is no fear in love. How can we ask the Universe, God or your understanding of a higher power to release new and better living to us if we are afraid to release what no longer serves us? It’s like wanting a new wardrobe you haven't made room for in your closet. You’re hanging on to clothes that no longer fit. They are only occupying space. Free up space so you have room to receive your blessings in this new season.