If you’ve scrolled on TikTok recently, the viral Black Wife Effect trend may have appeared on your feed.

The concept highlights interracial couples and the stark difference between in a white husband before and after marrying his Black wife. In the thousands of videos, the trend uses before-and-after photos to show the changes in the husband’s fashion, style and physical attributes, which seemingly also raises their attractiveness and confidence.

While many TikTok users are joining the trend, others are digging deeper and sharing the bigger message behind the Black Wife Effect.

The Black Wife Effect’s Underlying Message

TikTok user Betsy Watson explained how the trend is rooted in the social pressure placed on Black women to be exceptional.


we love a black wife but it shouldnt stop there, how can we support a black wife, how can we elevate a black wife the way they elevate us (this is spoken symbolically not in a dehumanizing way) #blackwifeeffect

♬ original sound – Betsy💙

“Black women exceed in industries, fields and foundations because the standard is exceed or not exist,” Watson said.

She also mentioned how Black women are conditioned differently than other demographics to assume a nurturing caretaker role.

“Black women have been socialized to be deep carers,” Watson said. “Sometimes people put Black women on these pedestals of being goddesses, … but it is exhausting. People hold [Black women] to this standard where they have to go above and beyond.”

The load Black women carry is a combination of striving to be “twice as good,” non-threatening and generational caregivers. This preconceived conditioning subconsciously seeps into the livelihood of Black women. It can be seen as they complete everyday tasks, sometimes unknowingly aware of themselves adhering to unrealistic high expectations. As a result, many Black women find themselves depleted and experiencing burnout. 

Watson briefly touches on this ongoing experience many Black women face in the almost two-minute video. In the end, Watson urges people to stop taking advantage of Black women’s support. She encourages viewers to find ways to support Black women in the same ways they elevate others around them.

“A lot of times, people can appreciate what Black women do, but they don’t know how to properly support us to keep doing it,” Watson said.