When it comes to marriage, there is one thing that every couple can agree on: it is not easy. The “for better or for worse” vows that every couple takes is harder than it seems. The Obamas have been reminding the public lately that marriage is more than the dresses and the parties. It is hard and true work.

During the press run for her new book, “The Light We Carry,” Michelle Obama revealed some details of her marriage with former President Barack Obama. The former president also appeared at a few stops to address specific portions of the book and add a little more insight.

Former President Barack Obama’s Take

As he reflected on his time in office during a CBS Mornings interview, the former president acknowledged that his duties as the leader of the country, a husband and a father didn’t quite balance out.

“It sure helps to be out of the White House and to have a little more time with [Michelle],” he said. “I did not fully appreciate — I think as engaged of a father as I was — the degree of stress and tension for her, knowing not just that me and Michelle were under scrutiny and in this strange environment, but that we were raising our daughters in a kind of situation that just wasn’t normal. Now that they’re doing good, she is a little more forgiving of all my flaws.”

Although his remarks were brief, it does speak to an idea across many marriages that children always come first. Although children are a priority, it is important to continue to do the work to keep the relationship alive.

Lessons From Michelle

The former first lady has been very open about her marriage struggles. In several interviews, she has mentioned that younger generations “glamorize” marriages when the hardest part is the actual matrimony. During a Revolt TV roundtable, she opened up about her 30 year marriage with former President Barack Obama.

She discussed the imbalances of marriage and how that played a large part in her resentment. During the roundtable, she said that there “were 10 years where [she] couldn’t stand my husband.”

“Marriage isn’t 50/50 ever, she said. “There are times I’m 70, [and] he’s 30. There are times he’s 60, [and I’m] 40, but … I would take 10 bad years over 30.”

In a later interview with CBS Morning’s Gayle King, she clarified that those 10 years were worth it.

“A lot of young people quit on marriage over things that are just a part of the commitment,” she said. “We’ve been married for 30 years. If I fell out with him for 10, and we had a great 20 years, I’d take those odds anytime.”