The soft life has become a sweeping online sensation, drawing intrigue, criticism and followership. As more Black women are choosing a soft life, there has also been an uptick in people judging the movement. If you have recently chosen the soft life, yet keep feeling guilty for it, here is how to stop.

Mentally Burn The Cape

Many Black women are burning the cape, and it is refreshing, but sometimes, there is still mental work to be done. The process takes a lot of commitment, consistency and effort. A hero mentality tends to put us in a chokehold and make us feel responsible for others, and guilty for taking care of ourselves, but it should not be this way. Making a conscious effort to burn the cape and let go of the need to save others at your own peril is a great way to tell your brain that it’s okay to enjoy the finer things.

Photo by: Ron Lach
Photo Credit: Ron Lach

Tune Out The Noise

Many times, people feel a sense of moral superiority and have no problem inserting unwanted opinions. Often, people who are trying to guilt trip you for wanting nice things and finally looking out for yourself, secretly want that lifestyle. Do not listen to anyone who is not constructively giving feedback on your journey. Keep nurturing your mind, body and soul, ignore the naysayers and focus on your growth.

Photo by: Jennifer Enujiugha
Photo Credit: Jennifer Enujiugha

Let Go Of Unnecessary Humility

In life, humility is a key ingredient for nurturing human relationships, but excessive humility and self-shrinking is destructive. Many times, we misinterpret low self esteem and self deprecating humor as humility. To fully enjoy your well-deserved path to the soft life, let go of the need to shrink yourself so that other people can be comfortable. This season is all about you, and after every challenge you have overcome, it’s only fair that you embody this reality.

Photo by junior Reis Foto
Photo Credit: junior reis foto

Say “No”

It can be hard to advocate for yourself on this journey, but it is completely doable. Part of choosing the soft life is learning how to set healthier boundaries. Boundaries are essential for growing self-respect, but they can feel uncomfortable at first.  If something doesn’t feel right, or if you are uncomfortable about a request, do not go out of your way to make others feel comfortable at your own expense, simply say “no.” This might take a while to get accustomed to, but this is the season of you. Embrace it.

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