As an impressionable lover girl growing up in the age of social media, I found myself looking for a handbook on how to have a successful relationship. I wanted to know what type of woman I needed to be to find love, how to act in a relationship and what steps to take to reach my goal of marriage. Unfortunately for me, I was introduced to the world of social media and its whirlwind of conflicting dating advice.

From Instagram to Twitter, everyone seemed to have their own set of rules and guidelines for what a successful relationship should look like. But the truth is, no one agrees on anything, and trying to adhere to these ever-changing standards almost drove me to the brink of insanity.

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t

At first, I thought I had struck gold. Social media presented itself as a treasure trove of relationship advice, promising the key to unlocking my happily ever after. From articles touting the five steps to finding true love to influencers sharing their secrets to a perfect partnership, I eagerly absorbed every tidbit of information, hoping to mold my love life into something straight out of a romantic comedy.

The way I consumed information didn’t overwhelming at first. I would learn a new “rule” one day and would see discourse around it for the next few months. After a while, it would fall to the back of my mind. So much so that when a new, contradicting rule would be introduced, I didn’t see the problem. I would just add the new, contradictory piece of information to my arsenal of tips and tricks to find and keep love.

As I delved deeper into the digital abyss, I started to realize that the landscape of dating advice on social media was nothing short of chaotic. The time gaps between rules began to get shorter. One day, I was encouraged to play hard to get, while the next, I was told to wear my heart on my sleeve. Some experts advocated for waiting three days before replying to a text, while others swore by the power of instant communication. It was enough to make my head spin.

Dating IRL vs. Social Media

What I failed to recognize in my quest for love was that relationships are not one-size-fits-all. What works for one couple may not necessarily work for another. And yet, social media bombarded me with a never-ending stream of contradictory narratives, leaving me feeling lost and disillusioned.

It wasn’t until I took a step back and reflected on my own experiences that I realized the farce of relying on social media as a dating guide. I had allowed myself to become so consumed by the opinions of strangers online that I had lost sight of what truly mattered: authenticity, communication, and genuine connection.

I learned that there is no formula for love, no algorithm that guarantees a perfect match. Relationships are messy and unpredictable, but therein lies their beauty. They are a journey of self-discovery, growth, and compromise, shaped by the unique dynamics between two individuals.

You Dictate Your Own Dating Life

To anyone who finds themselves caught in the endless cycle of scrolling through relationship advice on social media, I urge you to take a step back and trust in your own instincts. Listen to your heart, not the latest trend on Twitter or the viral post on Instagram. Remember that the most fulfilling relationships are those that are built on a foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and authenticity.

In the end, I discovered that the only dating advice worth following is the one that comes from within. Stop letting social media dictate the course of your love life, and start writing your own story. Write one that is true to who you are and what you want out of a relationship. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself in the end.