Surviving 365 days per year is not easy. We all know that. That alone is an amazing reason to want to celebrate your birthday and you have the right to want to do just that. You might be the type to want to go all out and pop bottles and stay out all night or just the type to want to stay in and kick it. Either way, it’s time we take accountability for the fact that we put too much pressure on other people to celebrate our birthdays when in reality, it’s not their job at all to be excited about your birthday.

Expectations v. Reality

Recently, I’ve had a few friends reach out to me to talk about the disappointment they had from other people for their birthdays. One had a death in the family a week before her birthday. She expected our entire friend group to show up for her now that she was mourning. When it seemed like she wasn’t getting the energy she expected from everyone, she questioned the status of all her friendships. Spoiler: we ended up throwing her a surprise dinner.

Another one of my friends confronted me about how I played a part in “ruining” her birthday years ago. When she explained what I did, I took accountability for it. She then mentioned that her entire view of her birthday changed that year. Many other people let her down and when she brought it all to her therapist, she gave her some advice that stuck with her and stuck with me too.

@adaoraandrea9 spending my birthday alone, but making the best of it, cheers to 23🥂✨ ♈️ #ComeDanceWithMe #blackgirltiktok #aries #happybirthday #fyp #lifestyle ♬ original sound – Dior🦋

The Harsh truth

My friend’s therapist broke it down to her as simply as she could. It’s no one else’s job to care about your birthday other than yours. When she told me this, I even reevaluated my birthdays as well. I started to focus on taking myself out for my birthday and doing things I enjoy, with myself. If someone else wanted to join me, that would be nice but I don’t expect it.

When my friend lost a family member and told me she was disappointed in our friends, I relayed the same message. You should be celebrating your own victory of surviving another year. Use the time to reflect on all your accomplishments and how you’ve grown the past year. You are the only one keeping you alive every day. That deserves a celebration from you and you alone, if other want to join in, that’s just a plus.