Meghan Markle has made folks mad again.
And this time, it’s because she had the audacity to not tolerate racism, sexism and transphobia.
The latest book written by an alleged royal expert — one Tom Bower, whose previous tomes include a rage-fueled missive against, of all people, Simon Cowell — takes aim at the Duchess of Sussex.
As can be expected, Vanity Fair printed an excerpt of the book — which is sure to be a fair and balanced analysis of how an American actress, completely ignorant of the ways and means of the British Royal Family, managed to not only survive but thrive in the face of adversity (that was sarcasm, folks) — and needless to say, it wasn’t the flex Bower thought it would be.
As Bower recounts, shortly after Meghan Markle and Prince Harry began dating, “the spare” brought his new girlfriend around his “mates,” which is what every normal couple has done since time immemorial. The Duke of Sussex, whose group of friends included his “Eton pals” — basically, a bunch of rich white boys living in a pale, seasoning-free bubble — was thinking that his mates would have a bit of act-right around his new woman.
He thought wrong.
They began telling racist, sexist and transphobic jokes — and they thought they would get away with it.
They thought wrong.
“Harry was looking forward to endless banter, jokes — and a lot of drinking,” Bower wrote. “He had not anticipated Meghan’s reaction. Their jokes involving sexism, feminism and transgender people ricocheted around the living rooms and dining rooms. Without hesitation, Meghan challenged every guest whose conversation contravened her values. According to some of Harry’s friends, again and again, she reprimanded them about the slightest inappropriate nuance. Nobody was exempt.”
Bower then went on to describe how Meghan Markle became the butt of their jokes because she wouldn’t let these people be racist in peace. And of course, these wonderful “friends” mused that “Harry must be nuts” for marrying a woman who wouldn’t let them act like drunk frat boys at a panty raid party.
How dare she?
It’s not clear how this story was supposed to make the former “Suits” actress look bad, but it actually had the exact opposite effect, as evidenced by the Meghan Markle hashtag currently trending on Twitter.
And this isn’t the first time that the Duchess of Sussex has made folks mad just for existing. (Well, we all know why “they” are really mad…)
That Time She Wrote A Best-Selling Book
According to the gossip rags, “The Bench” was just the latest attempt from the Duchess of Sussex to capitalize off of her royal ties and titles, instead of merely being content with living in the scullery-maid’s quarters and eating the scraps from the horse trough.
Never mind the fact that Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York (the one married to Prince Andrew, a BFF of Jeffrey Epstein) was pedaling Weight Watchers for a check, or the time the House of Windsor as a collective appeared on a RenFaire-themed game show called “It’s a Knockout.”
Yeah, no — it’s definitely the cute children’s book that was written as a love letter to her husband and her son that’s the problem.
That Time Meghan Markle Ate An Avocado
When Meghan Markle was pregnant with Archie, she touted avocados as a potential cure-all for her morning sickness.
And it took exactly 6.3 seconds for Express to write headlines all but accusing the Duchess of outright murder.
“The pregnant Duchess of Sussex and so-called ‘avocado on toast whisperer’ is wolfing down a fruit linked to water shortages, illegal deforestation, and all-around general environmental devastation,” blared one particularly obnoxious article.
By the way, Kate Middleton also liked to eat avocados as a cure-all for her morning sickness.
How did that same newspaper report on the Duchess of Cambridge’s preferred fruit of choice?
“Prince William was given one of the green fruit – wrapped up in a bow – by a little boy whose mother is suffering during her pregnancy too… ‘He said he’d take it to [Kate] and see what happens – and said good luck for [the boy’s] mummy,” they wrote.
I guess folks were short on murder, deforestation and “millennial shame” that day.
That Time She Dared To Make Her Own Money
AfroTech previously reported that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are well on their way to becoming billionaires. Together with Prince Harry, the couple’s entrepreneurial spirit has made them a modern-day success story.
But if you hear The Daily Mail tell it, the dynamic duo was just hoping for a “royal cash-in” when they started trademarking their brand. They even tried to imply that Meghan Markle was connected to Harvey Weinstein because the Sussexes had hired Sunshine Sachs — one of the largest public relations firms in the entertainment industry — which once represented the disgraced director.
In case you’re wondering, The Daily Mail had plenty to say about Prince William and Duchess Kate doing the same thing.
“Kensington Palace officials said they were doing the ‘sensible thing’ in protecting the couple’s rights,” they wrote.
I’ll bet they were, guys. I’ll bet they were.
That Time Meghan Markle Wore Wedges
Wedges — they’re comfortable, they’re stylish and they’re perfect for the beach.
And when Meghan Markle wore them on Australia’s Bondi Beach, she “broke royal protocol,” and the press couldn’t pounce fast enough.
Incidentally, Kate Middleton was also seen wearing the same shoes around the same time as this high crime against humanity. How did the press talk about the Duchess of Cambridge’s fashion choices?
“Versatile,” “we love it,” and “absolutely essential.”
Because of course.
That Time She Wore An Off-The-Shoulder Dress
It probably goes without saying, at this point, that the British press believes Meghan Markle is the only one who breaks “royal protocol,” whereas Kate Middleton always follows it to a T.
But it’s interesting that even Buzzfeed noticed how both Duchesses donned off-the-shoulder dresses — and only one got roasted for it.
That said, Meghan Markle remains as popular and beloved as ever — even though she isn’t a working royal.
And to this, we say to her detractors: stay mad.