Dear single lady,

The world can feel incredibly cold and lonely, especially during the festive period. Perhaps a lot of your friends are happily married with kids, and you can't help but stare at their social media pictures for minutes on end. Maybe your parents and other family members are pressuring you to get married, and perhaps, it is annoying and uncomfortable, but I am here to tell you that your singleness does not make you the bad guy. Nothing inherently wrong with you, and you don't have to blame yourself for being without a significant other. 

Finding the right partner can be a brutal process and I want you to know that as you hope for the right one, the most important thing to keep in mind is that you need to fall in love with yourself first. Many women have had an incredibly hard time believing that they need to love themselves before seeking a long-lasting relationship, but it is a valid piece of advice.

Dear beautiful Black and brown lady, the best gift you can give yourself is to genuinely put yourself first and value your entire being. That way, you will be able to see the world, and how you operate within it with new eyes.

If you have always wanted to get married and have a family at a certain age, it is certainly not easy to see your social media timeline flooded with pictures of your friends and their happy families. While you may be happy for them, a part of you might question whether there is something that you are not doing right.

Society may put a lot of pressure on you to settle down and get married, but don't allow yourself to cave into the pressure. Marriage is a beautiful institution and can be very fulfilling when you enter into it with the right person, but it is important not to rush into it because that is a recipe for disaster down the road. 

Former boyfriends and lovers may have made you feel that you are the problem and you have irreparable behavioral flaws, but you are NOT the problem. Do not let it break you down or question who you are. Doing this will only put you at risk of falling into the wrong relationship and settling for less than you deserve.

Be merciful and kind to yourself. You may indeed have had some bad relationships in the past as we all have, but this is where self-reflection and introspection come into play. Look within yourself and decide on what you will accept and what you won’t accept in your future relationships. If you were wrong in certain situations, gently improve.

Dear beautiful Black and brown woman, your single days of  'aloneness' and spending quality time by yourself is a great time to reflect on your values and convictions.

Always remember that you are the prize. Also, keep in mind that it is okay to get married and have kids at a certain age, but everyone has a unique timeline, including you.

I am rooting for you.