Do you have that one friend who always working on self-love, self-acceptance, authenticity, blah, blah, blah? Welp, I am she and she is me! And let’s be real, if you are reading this then you are her! Remember, there is nothing wrong with wanting to enhance our overall well-being. However, in the process of wholeness, there are two huge acts we should perform: self-compassion and radical acceptance.

Put on your scuba suit, sis because we are about to go deep

Do you show compassion and acceptance to others before yourself? Are you more willing to be empathetic to others than with yourself? In order for us to practice self-compassion, we must acknowledge our experiences with empathy. Empathy is shown when we make an effort to understand our distress through emotional sensitivity and understanding. When we are in pain, or in a vulnerable state, being empathetic to ourselves is crucial for our well-being. You may have made a bad choice, failed, was heartbroken, in denial, in debt or still in those circumstances. However, sometimes just saying, yes girl, it’s been rough but you’re glowing through the process; or yes, they were rude but you always seem to be an example of love and forgiveness, can work a lot better than being harsh to ourselves. Whatever, you would say to your BFF, family, coworker — say it to yourself.

Next, it is key to stay out of judgment. Staying out of judgment requires understanding and paying attention to our feelings and triggers. I literally wave goodbye to my judgment as soon as I feel it trolling. Yes, I really wave — like a queen — the physical gesture is symbolic for me as a reminder to control my inner critic and have power over my thoughts and identify where the judgment is stemming from. For self-compassion, you need to come from an emotional healthy space and allow your emotional needs to come first.

Last, but not least, let’s talk about radical acceptance. It’s simple: Accept your “reality”. Fighting equals more suffering. Instead, practice compassion for your reality and/or experience and then create your life of change.

Remember, we have everything we need within us. We have access to infinite wisdom, knowledge, and resources from our divine universe. Therefore, solutions, change, success, prosperity, and abundance is in our hands.

Why is this important?

– You will cultivate the goodness in your life and the process to wholeness.
– You will provide a safe space for your healing process or to express your feelings.
– You will better understand your needs.
– You will better understand the sensitivity you may have towards words and actions.
– You will become familiar with your nonverbal communication with others.
– You will learn how to stimulate and motivate yourself.

Maya Angelou once said, “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style." On that note, do not forget to mix some passion, humor and style with that cup of self-compassion and radical acceptance.

To learn more about Self-compassion and radical acceptance, check out these three gurus: Brene Brown, Ph.D, Kristin Neff, Ph.D and Tara Brach.

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Compassion