By leah jones
Making the decision to begin couples counseling is a huge step in achieving success in your relationship.
Whether you are in a new relationship, have faced complications/issues or just want to practice better communication, joint therapy is a great idea.
Many see couples counseling as a last resort or believe it is only for relationships on the verge of ending, but that is not the case. Seeking help as soon as problems arise is most beneficial.
Therapists and counselors often set similar ground rules for approaching sessions. Here are some general couples counseling rules for therapy to follow to yield the best results.
Put aside any preconceived ideas you may have about couples therapy and approach it openly. Additionally, be open to feedback and professional insights as you follow through with a counselor’s guidance.
It is key to go into couples counseling with a clear and realistic goal in mind of what you want out of it for your relationship. Ensuring those goals and expectations are aligned is also important.
Try not to focus on fear of being judged or misunderstood. Therapists and counselors are trained for it all. This is the best time to share your thoughts and feelings truthfully and to discuss difficult topics.
Avoid name-calling, accusing, blaming, yelling, etc. Also, remember to use "I" statements instead of "You" statements (e.g., "I feel hurt" instead of "You always hurt me"). This is a common couples counseling practice.
Let your partner speak without interrupting. Make sure to also really absorb what they are saying to understand their point of view rather than to prepare your rebuttal. Ask questions if you do not understand.
Take breaks if conversations become too heated or if emotions are high. Doing so will allow you to re-approach the conversation with a clear mind. Remember to also give your partner space when needed.
You must be willing to admit to your own actions to make couples counseling work. Own up to your role in conflicts and avoid defensiveness or shifting blame.
Just showing up to couples counseling will not help improve your relationship. You should also be patient and apply what you learn like communication and problem-solving skills outside of counseling.
Do not harp too much on past issues or mistakes. Instead, focus on what can be changed moving forward. Apply this emphasis on solutions to other problems that may arise.
Click the link below for a quick lesson in attachment styles.