Unicorns are gold-horned, white, horse-like animals that first appeared in European art during the 1200s. They’re rarities, making the sight of them a unique and special experience. Whether or not they actually exist, their significance has been assigned to other phenomena within American culture. White horses have often been associated with saviors; add a gold horn with alleged medicinal properties and you have a mythical being that sparks joy. More specifically amongst married couples and within the polyamory community, the term “unicorn” has gained some traction on social media. So what is a unicorn husband? Here’s what we know. 

What Is A Unicorn Husband?

The expectations that we develop based on culture and media has taught us that partnership is a coveted experience. That desire may have been innate for you, but it’s also no guarantee. True friendship, let alone love, has been described as a rarity too. So, finding your person, falling in love, is a privilege that not everyone gets to experience. Often, folks who do experience go on to meld their lives, making themselves an official union through marriage. Marriage has been said to either take the fun out of relationships or to enhance the love that was already there. For a number of wives on TikTok, they are grateful for their unicorn husbands who make them feel appreciated.

This context describes unicorn husbands as the partners, and dads, who sew up a hole in their kids’ uniform. They bake a pie for their wife or get them their daily iced coffee in their favorite flavor. This might sound like a partner simply valuing their significant other, but it’s being presented as out of the ordinary. Now, social media plays a role in how we view marriage, along with the expectations and responsibilities of partners. Throw gender in and you have years of sexism and misogyny to unpack. In the case of a unicorn husband, they could be perceived to be taking on the “wifely” duties in a relationship or the approach that the softer partner might be expected to fulfill.

In any case, these testimonials of appreciation characterized by unicorn-ness appear to be coming from a joyous place and even give their followers (in the comments) hope that they, too, will find their unicorn one day. 

Unicorn Husbands In The Polyamory Community

With equal valor, the search for “what is a unicorn husband” brought back descriptions of labels used within the polyamory community. Unicorns themselves have come forward to explain the meaning behind the term, how it’s used and its connotation. Unicorns have explained that the term signifies a bisexual woman who is looking to join an already established couple. Sometimes she may be part of her own established couple and still up for fun with a new pair. Unicorns can find themselves in committed relationships over extended periods of time or choose to date serially. While this term is typically associated with women within the polyamory community, it has also been used to describe married couples who are seeking unicorns. 

Couples who are in search of unicorns are called unicorn hunters. They desire a third in their dynamic. Unicorns have also come forward to advise unicorn hunters against searching for a third to fix relationship issues. It’s recommended that a couple be solid and secure in who they are individually and as a unit before welcoming more energy into their situation. 

Why Are Unicorn Husbands Hard To Find?

In both cases, monogamous and polyamorous couples, unicorn husbands and unicorn thirds can be hard to find. Marriage has often been portrayed as the responsibility of the wife to manage when it comes to home function and their husband’s emotions. In an equal partnership, partners are willing to and jump at the opportunity to do the same for one another. It’s unclear whether unicorn husbands take on most of the responsibilities for their families, out of wanting to provide soft lives for their wives or feeling as if it’s their duty. With unicorns being additions to existing couples, partnering with them seems to have the opposite effect. 

They’re being sought after as an addition so they don’t carry the brunt of the work, and when they do, they know that it’s an unlevel dynamic. In both cases, it seems like the real unicorn, and binding factor, is communication. It allows marriages to flow and flourish and (married) couples who embrace polyamory with unicorn partners to express their desires and expectations. So much of what we want is on the other side of asking for it. Whether that’s extra support in duties and/or romance, the qualities of a relationship enhanced by a unicorn are not beyond our reach.