The hardest or most challenging thing anyone can do is to repair a broken relationship. It takes growth, maturity, and this one thing that sounds simple, but presents additional challenges as well which is forgiveness. Forgiveness requires humility and depending on how bad I may have hurt you, or you have hurt me, it appears as a distant concept. It is a necessary concept whether we repair a relationship or not. For the sake of our individual journey, we should offer forgiveness and as much grace as we hope to never need.

ASSESS THE BROKEN RELATIONSHIP 

I am a firm believer that everything broken doesn’t have to be repaired. I can love you from afar. My hopes for your life will remain the same: lots of peace, love, light, and joy. This doesn’t mean we should reconnect. However, if the relationship was severed due to ego or something that wasn’t detrimental; and the value of the relationship outweighs what caused me to sever the relationship, I will consider repairing the relationship. And you should consider doing the same. 

TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY 

Once it has been established that you're moving forward with repairing the relationship, you have to take accountability for your part. Regardless of what happens in our life, we all have roles, whether small or large in everything including our broken relationships with our loved ones. If we think about romantic relationships, how many of us have fallen victim to the “I’m not into titles” line or the “Let's just see where it goes.” Usually one of the parties develops feelings faster than the other. And while this person is sorting through their emotions, they discover that the “No titles,” “See where it goes person” has their hand in other cookie jars. 

Of course, that person deserves blame for causing hurt. However, the blame rests on the hurt person’s shoulders as well. Why would anyone allow someone else to dictate the way they want to date, be courted or loved? Now if the hurt individual wanted these things as well, then no love is lost; but if that was not the case, why settle for something that doesn’t align with your goals? That is no one’s fault, but your own. That is unhealed trauma making decisions for you.


FORGIVE AND FIND A RESOLUTION 

You have to forgive those that have hurt you and forgive yourself for allowing others to hurt you. What I mean is that we often lack boundaries that give others a pass to do as they please. We have to forgive ourselves for not being aware and allowing others to set the tone with us. Once all has been forgiven, come to some type of resolution. If it's apologies, then apologize. Admit you're wrong and create a resolution that works for you. 

Remember you have to CREATE AND ENFORCE THOSE BOUNDARIES. 

This isn’t a minute quick fix. This is a step-by-step process. TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. Understand that the hurt, betrayal, disappointment doesn’t just go away because you want it to. You must work through it intentionally. Because you want this, the other party may not and that is fine. It is also okay if when both of you attempt to repair the relationship it fails. Sometimes our desires are not what is best for us.

relationshipsmental healthself carestyle