Ending a romantic relationship or a friendship that has gone sour or is no longer life-giving can be hard, but it is also necessary. Although it might be easier, you don’t have to just silently walk away or send a quick breakup text. It’s always best to pursue a conversation because text messages can seem impersonal, lack tone, and not leave room for dialogue.
However, if either you are unable to do so because of physical distance or because you feel unsafe speaking in person, it’s acceptable to send a text to end a relationship. Be as specific as possible in your text, and try to be direct about your intentions about moving forward. Here’s five text suggestions to send when you want to end a relationship without ghosting.
Be Specific
Since you are sending a confrontational text, it’s essential to be as specific as possible about the issues and why you are ending things. Keeping things vague might be easier, but lean into specificity as a powerful tool of communication.
You might say:
“I’ve been thinking a lot about our relationship lately, and it’s become clear to me that it’s no longer a priority for either of us. We don’t make time to spend with each other and neither of us check in with the other frequently. I know that I missed your birthday this year, and you never reached out when my mom got sick. It’s not either of our faults, but it seems as though life has pulled us in opposite directions. In an effort to keep things as honest as possible, I think it’s best for us to end things.”
Take Ownership
When a relationship of any kind ends (a friendship, romance, or professional relationship), it’s important to take ownership of what you might have contributed. Consider your behavior or choices that could have had a negative impact. In your text, spell out the areas where you might have fallen short.
You might say:
“I know that I’ve hurt you. I have been selfish and put myself ahead of you. This is a reflection of some internal work and growing that I need to do. Because of that I think it’s best we go our separate ways.”
Cut Off Toxicity at Its Heels
Sending a text to end certain relationships might be the best bet if a relationship is particularly unhealthy or unsafe. Keep this person at a distance and send a text message that is cordial and to-the-point.
You might say:
“I am sorry to do this over text, but I do not feel safe or comfortable having this conversation in person. I do not want to be in this relationship anymore. It’s become extremely toxic and affecting my mental and emotional health. It’s best that we go our separate ways. Because of the toxicity, this will be the last time you’ll hear from me.”
Communicate Your Why
Get to the root of what is causing you to end this relationship. Spell it out in black and white so that there is no confusion. Your text most likely will be difficult to read, but at least your reasoning will be clear and out in the open.
You might say:
“I’m sure you have noticed that I’ve been distant for a while. I have been thinking about our relationship, and I do not feel that when we are together, I am my best self. The way you speak to me has torn down my self-esteem and affected my confidence. Because of that I no longer feel like this is the best relationship for me and think it’s best to end things.”
Be Honest
While it might be tempting to soften the blow, be as honest as possible. If there’s no hope of reconciliation, don’t say that there is. If it’s their behavior that is causing a rift, don’t say otherwise.
You might say:
“I no longer want to be in this relationship. The truth is, I don’t love you the way that you love me. You deserve better and to be with someone who reciprocates that affection and love. I think it’s best to part ways for me to figure myself out and for you to find a love that is reciprocated.”