Let’s be real, people-pleasing tendencies are a generational curse we sometimes can't escape from, especially if you grew up in an environment where people-pleasing was a regular practice where boundaries probably weren’t much established.
People pleasing can look like a lot of things, but the most important way to identify if you’re a people pleaser is by identifying your own boundaries. If you don’t have many boundaries with others including your friends, family, and relationships, this can potentially mean that you may be pleasing others to either make them feel more comfortable, or pleasing others because you want to be of service to everyone else rather than being of service to yourself first.
Whether you have established boundaries with others or haven’t, you were drawn to this article for a reason. Now that 2022 is here it’s important that we identify limiting beliefs and behaviors when it comes to people-pleasing and ways we can release the old and let in the new.
You’re saying yes to all of the things you want to say "no" to
It’s so easy to find ourselves saying yes to all of the things we want to say no to. For starters, we always want to make others feel happy, and sometimes we feel that if we say no to someone they can take it the wrong way and not want to be around us anymore.
The truth to this is, if a person is really meant to be in your life, saying no is actually one of the healthiest ways a relationship can last. If you’re constantly saying yes to everything and everyone all the time, there is no room for you to be as you truly are, creating resentment and anger towards the people around you.
You find yourself serving everyone else’s needs rather than serving your own first
One of the biggest people-pleasing tendencies is catering to other’s needs before your own. It’s vital for your own personal health and wellbeing that you always put yourself first regardless of who is at the center of needing something from you.
Your actions are based off of another’s comfortability
If you find yourself changing any aspect, behavior, or action as a result of someone else’s comfortability, it’s time to change the narrative. One of the biggest red flags within any relationship is narcissism and feeling as though someone is controlling your every move. If you feel this way in regard to any relationship in your life, it’s probably a sign to let it go and to go where you’re allowed to be your true self without judgment.
You’re scared to tell others the truth about how you feel due to a fear of being rejected
Telling the truth about how we feel can be scary, especially when it’s with someone we love. If you are scared to tell others how you truly feel surrounding a relationship, situation, and or experience this is a huge sign that it’s time to let go and start living your truth.
You often suppress your emotions to cater to everyone else rather than talking about them upfront
People-pleasing takes form by suppressing your emotions rather than talking about them, and it’s extremely important that you change the narrative so others are aware of what it is that you need from them. If someone really cares about you, they’ll hold space for you to be open and transparent.