People fail to understand that friendships are just as complex or even more complex than romantic relationships. The red flags in these dynamics often have a higher chance of being overlooked than in romantic relationships. If you have a hunch that your friendship might not be the real deal, here are six warning signs that your new friend might not be the yin to your yang.
They Don't Celebrate Your Wins:
Never ignore that little side-eye you notice when you share some good news. Your real friends should be more excited about your good news than you are, or at the very least, they should match your energy. A friend that always has weird energy anytime you tell them about the good things happening in your life should definitely be checked before they have full access to you and your life.
They Act Different In Front of Other People:
Watch out for your friend who only ever remembers your most embarrassing moments in front of the person they know you have feelings for. These are the ones that will always change how they treat you based on the people you're with. Friends can tease one another, but you have to understand that there's a thin line between banter and blatant disrespect.
They Overplay Their Roles As Devil's Advocate:
We are all for friends that can call us out on our BS, but there should be zero tolerance for friends who defend and side with the people who have hurt us badly. In these situations, they often sound more like they're highlighting how everything that has gone wrong is either your fault or gaslight you into thinking that what the offender did wasn't so bad. Some master manipulators can even tell you that you're being too sensitive about everything you're feeling. Watch out for all these signs.
Other People Feel Comfortable Trash Talking You In Front Of Them:
Don't you find it funny that this new friend always has the tea on what other people have said about you in front of them, but they somehow never get to the point in the story where they were defending you? The fact is that a real friend should have your back and have it established that slandering you in any form will not be tolerated.
It's All About Them:
Friendships are safe havens where all parties can present their problems and get advice and a warm hug. Any friendship that's anything other than a fifty-fifty balance is bound to leave you exhausted and unhappy. Watch out for the ones that trivialize all you're going through only to highlight their issues.
They Don't Respect Your Boundaries:
A well-balanced relationship should hold your hand as you work through all the things you struggle with. A relationship that tries to rush or force you into things will not last long. A real friend that has the potential of being in your life for a long time should never disregard the rules that you have set in place for yourself because the fact is that people will treat your boundaries the way they see you. Either with respect, contempt or jealousy. Regardless of anything that happens, it is important to understand that not everyone you meet has what it takes to be a lifelong friend. Remember that accommodating someone is different from tolerating disrespect, accepting a disregard of your boundaries, and upsetting yourself to avoid loneliness.
Be extremely selective about your tribe.