Look, I get it, liquid courage has led to one too many decisions we might not be too proud to bring up in the topic, but you've grown too far from toxic relationships to end up full circle where you left off. Yes, I know it gets lonely, and no, amount of reruns of The Office can distract you from your relationship woes forever. All I ask is that you remember these seven straightforward things the next time you're drunk-in between fighting the aftermath of a round of bottomless tequila shots, of course.
They're An Ex For A Reason:
While it is true that not all relationships crashed and burned, you and your ex broke up for a reason. Some exes have the irritating habit of getting hotter after the whirlwind romance ends, but stand your ground and respect yourself enough to delete that text and end that call.
Are You Ready For The Aftermath?:
That dangerous text might either be a rant embellished with a lot of colorful words or "I want you back" epistle that would give Pablo Neruda a run for his money. Either way, weigh your options while you're sober and understand that all actions have consequences. Delete their number before the first shot if you must, your pride will thank you later.
Yes, The "Yucky" Parts Were Real:
It's so easy to romanticize exes and all you shared. Yes they had the most beautiful raspy voice in the morning, but don't let that distract you from how bad their breath was. Yes, they had the most beautiful teeth, but why was spinach always wedged between them? Seriously, be realistic even with your daydreams and reel yourself in when you feel your thoughts drifting.
It's Not Fair To You Or Them:
You might confuse yourself by opening up fresh wounds after a painful breakup. Someone might end up getting attached while the other stays distant. Either way, it can be confusing and messy, so be compassionate and understand that whatever you decide ultimately affects two people.
Don't Let Yourself Down:
Although you may have made yourself promise to break the habit of loving someone, it is important to make sure that you try to respect yourself enough to honor your decision. Besides, you being unavailable to them really gives off the whole post-breakup glow-up vibe.
You Only Live Once:
If we're doing this life thing once, we can't spend it coming full circle to circumstances that don't match the progress we've made. We only live once, so why not do it with dignity, when you love, love deeply, but we often save this deep, raw love for others and leave none for yourself. Love yourself by respecting yourself and believing that you are too good, and you have come too far to put yourself in situations that don't add some form of value to your life.
You're Human:
One of the major parts of being a person is making mistakes. I call them mistakes and not choices because whatever you decide to do in a drunken state does not define who you are or the values you stand for. You are more than an unflattering rant. You are more than a seemingly desperate text, and doing these things doesn't sum up the complex person you are. You are way too important to be defined by what you did, and you are allowed to be emotional. You are allowed to be. Your mistakes are too minute to define you.