For some, a pause on physical intimacy allows a needed break to rebuild and reflect, leading to a stronger connection. The break can create a chance to engage in deep conversations, understand each other’s needs, and focus on non-physical aspects of love.
“A ‘sex detox’ is a term that some people use to describe a deliberate break or period of reflection from sexual activity,” said a sex and marriage therapist MoAndra Johnson.
“When discussing the concept of a sex detox, it’s important to emphasize that this practice should be approached with a positive and healthy perspective. It’s essential to stress that a sex detox should be about improving one’s relationship with one’s own body and sexuality rather than suppressing or feeling shame about it. This period can be used to focus on physical and emotional health,” Johnson added.
Johnson is a Sex and Relationship Therapist and founder of Sex On The Table (SOTT), LLC. She passionately advocates for healthy sexuality, positive relationships, and social justice. She spoke with 21Ninety about the pros and cons of an intimacy break and whether one makes your relationship stronger.
The Pros and Cons of a Sex Detox
Pros
A pause on intercourse can offer couples a fresh perspective on their relationship. Johnson shared that a detox can actually produce “several positive effects on the emotional intimacy in a relationship when approached from a sex-positive perspective.”
“Some include enhanced communication. During a sex detox, couples are encouraged to communicate openly and honestly about their desires, boundaries, and expectations. This practice can lead to more profound conversations about emotions, creating a stronger emotional connection. Another benefit is a rediscovery of emotional bonds. By temporarily shifting the focus away from sexual activity, couples can rediscover other aspects of their emotional connection, such as shared interests, values, and non-sexual forms of intimacy. There are over six types!,” she explained.
“Also, there’s reduced performance pressure. A sex detox allows partners to alleviate performance pressure that may have built up over time. By taking a break from sexual activity, they can focus on enjoying each other’s company without the pressure to perform in bed,” Johnson continued.
Cons
However, this hiatus might lead to feelings of detachment or frustration, potentially straining the relationship if not undertaken with mutual understanding. While some couples find rejuvenation, others may feel challenged by the abrupt change in intimacy dynamics.
“Prolonged periods without sexual intimacy can decrease a couple’s overall relationship satisfaction. There’s a possibility of emotional distance, communication challenges, unmet needs, reduced passion, and the impact on self-esteem. It can also increase vulnerability to outside temptations, lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and resentment, which can have a long-term negative impact on the relationship’s overall health,” Johnson said.
“If partners have consensually agreed to a period of abstinence and are supportive of this decision, it can significantly reduce the risk of suppressed desires or frustrations,” she continued.
Johnson highlights the importance of effective communication and mutual agreement in a detox. A shared understanding of its reasons ensures a harmonious experience for both parties. That consent and alignment of intention play a crucial role during a detox.
A Deeper Connection
Reaching a deeper level of connection in a relationship requires intention and effort. Open communication, understanding each other’s needs, and spending quality time together are essential. By actively listening, expressing gratitude, and embracing shared experiences, couples can strengthen their bond. Trust grows when partners prioritize emotional intimacy, ensuring a lasting and resilient connection.
“Identifying and communicating non-sexual needs more clearly in a relationship doesn’t necessarily require a formal “sexual detox,” Johnson revealed. “Ultimately, the key is open and honest communication between partners, regardless of whether they choose to engage in sexual activity or not.”
Johnson wants readers to know that it is possible to understand and fulfill each other’s non-sexual needs while still maintaining a healthy relationship and satisfying each other sexually.