If there is one thing we know, the acts of service lovers require a specific type of life that looks a little old school. Gifts are nice and hugging is welcomed, but being able to offer time, awareness and reliability is unmatched for some. Think of your friends who feel most valued when you make small adjustments to make soft life more of a reality. This screams acts of service love language. Though less glamorous and more practical, this love language is just as important to get right as the others.
The acts of service love language is all about making life easier. Minimize stress and simplify the unnecessary to put a big smile on an acts of service person’s face. In essence, this love language is all about expressing love through a non-verbal, highly observant manner. The trick is making your friend feel like you’re able to emotionally support and advocate for them before life’s to-do lists starts to overwhelm.
Is it necessary to learn your friends’ love languages?
The Love Languages were coined by Dr. Gary Chapman who wrote the book and devised a quiz on the five different ways that individuals typically feel loved. Learning your friends’ love languages is a must if you want to build long-lasting, meaningful bonds. Love languages are indicative of how people feel most loved: most people have primary and secondary love language(s). For your acts of service friends, they feel the impact of your love when you make tangible steps to show them that they don’t need to waste energy worrying/burning out. Remember that it’s likely that how someone receives love is how they prefer to express it, although sometimes it differs.
5 ways to love your acts of service friends
Set up a personal, stress-free zone in their home
Curating a corner in their home where they can be completely at ease and melt away all stress is a great way to demonstrate love. The best part about this act is that it is long-term. It could be as simple as a few extra cushions and some incense or a whole meditative experience. Create it according to their lifestyle and tendencies and you’ll be sure to speak directly to their needs. This space will always be available for them to fall into and they’ll always be reminded that you thought of their restoration as a priority.
Don’t be afraid to ask ‘what do you need?’
The acts of service-inclined love the thought of quietly getting stuff done. It’s important to pay attention to the things your friends don’t enjoy doing. Try taking those tasks over for them when it feels possible. Other than listening to what gets on their nerves about everyday tasks, you could just ask. It might be time to let them live their best passenger prince or princess life whenever road trips are on the schedule.
Cook an old family recipe when they’re homesick
Those days when homesickness kicks in or they’re simply too caught up to cook a good home-cooked meal, call for old family recipes. The best thing about this option is that it proves that you know exactly how to speak to their heart and history in a way that deepens the friendship’s intimacy. This can work with your long-distance friends too – i.e., if your Caribbean friends are feeling a way, hit up the local Caribbean takeout spot and have a warm plate of goodness sent to their house.
Draw a bath for them
For the acts of service soul, feeling hyper-independent is an easy trap to fall into. Any act that eliminates that will prove that you care about them. Is there any more soothing sound than the gushing waters of a bath being drawn?
Head up the vacation planning
It goes without saying that the vacation-planning is a heavy load that sometimes ends up on one person. Without even asking, take the initiative to plan the vacation and lighten the load. Make them feel extra special with the “We’re going to X, pack your luggage!” knowing it’s a destination they’ve been meaning to visit. Start the group chat, plan, book, and keep them in blissful rest mode until it’s time to catch the flight.
Related: Everything Your ‘Quality Time’ Love Language Friend Won’t Tell You They Need