When it comes to our romantic relationships, we all want to be cautious about giving our heart away to just anyone. No one is perfect and relationships take work, but before taking things to the next level, you may want to consider asking home specific questions to ensure that you both are aligned.
Here are 18 things you should ask him, according to Essence, before moving into the love-zone:
1. What’s Your Credit Score?
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Finances. It’s a topic many couples dance around, especially in the beginning, but it is important to know where he stands credit wise. As you continue to build together, you want to be aware of any financial obstacles you may encounter.
2. Is Your Hustle-Game Strong?
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Is he a good problem-solver? How does he overcome adversity? If his plans fall-through, what does he do to rectify them? It’s important to know how he handles troubled waters.
3. How’s Your Relationship With Your Mom And The Women In Your Life?
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It’s an oldie, but goodie! Find out how he treats his mom and often it will teach you their perception on how to treat women. When he is around their mom, sisters, aunts, female friends, take note.
4. If I Make More Than You, Is That Okay?
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According to Market Watch, about 40% of households run with women as the breadwinner. If this were to be a reality in your relationship, would he be okay with it?
5. Do You Have A Savings?
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And the finance questions keep coming, but they are very important! Does he have money saved up for a rainy day? How does he like to save?
6. What Are Your Fears?
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What is he afraid of? This can be a difficult conversation to have but in order to understand him better, it is good to know what he fears.
7. Are You Spiritual?
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You both do not necessarily have to come from the same religious background, however, knowing whether or not he is spiritual is important if you are.
8. What Motivates You?
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What fuels his drive? As his partner, you want to know what keeps him going, and if possible, how you can motivate him to keep going.
9. What Do You Value Most?
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Where does he place value? Is it in family? Work? Possessions? Helping others? Financial freedom? Knowing what he values shows you whether or not you two are on the same page.
10. What Are Your Insecurities?
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It’s more common for women to talk about their insecurities, but men have them too. Ask him about his, and ask how he handles those insecurities. If he’s not ready to talk about them, just observe him and see how he reacts when working through those insecure moments.
11. What Does Your Resume Look Like?
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Work history is apart of a person’s history, and you want to know if he’s a consistent worker or if he’s had some gap years.
12. What Are Your Dreams?
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What does he dream about? What makes him feel fulfilled? Is he going after his dreams?
13. Do I Fit Into Your Dream?
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Going along with the questions above, do you/can you play a role in him accomplishing his dreams? Is there space for you there?
14. Do You Have A Substance Abuse Problem?
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Another heavy-hitter question. Is he a social drinker/user or is this a daily occurrence? This is something you need to know because down the line when you two are trying to settle down and stabilize, this may become a larger issue that could eventually ruin your lives.
15. Do You Have Any Unfinished Business With Your Ex?
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Is he done or is he finished? Has he truly moved on from his ex or is he pretending? Before you give him your all, make sure his heart is not still with someone else.
16. What Qualities Are You Looking For In A Woman?
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What does he want? Do you align with the qualities he is looking for, for the most part, or are you far from the mark? Don’t try to fit yourself in his “perfect” woman box, be honest about it.
17. What’s Your Status?
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Get tested. Know your HIV/AIDS/STDs status and make sure he knows his and you both share that information.
18. Do Want To Get Married One Day? Have Kids?
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Are marriage and kids in his future? If they're not, but it’s what you desire, exit stage left! Don’t stick around if that’s not what he wants.
And ladies, while you prep to ask your man these questions, know your answers as well. Love is a two-way street.
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