Feeling envy once in a while is a natural human emotion. You may see someone move through the accomplishments you’ve been working hard for with ease or benefit from privileges you don’t have. Jealousy is a normal emotion, but being friends with someone jealous of you shouldn’t be the norm.

Friendships should be a safe space for uplifting one another unconditionally, free of resentment and animosity. However, if you have a larger social circle, then it may be easier to find an envious friend. Here are the signs a friend is jealous of you, and how to navigate maintaining the friendship.

Is Your Friend Jealous Of You?

Have you ever noticed a friend who reacts unenthused when you share big news about your life? Is there a friend in your life who often criticizes you and disguise their insults as compliments? Envious friends tend to drone on about how life is unfair to them, and their life updates are typically negative. 

You can get so used to the dynamic that it no longer stands out as abnormal to you, which is why it’s important to be reminded of what an envious friendship looks like. Here are some indicative signs you have a friend in your life who is jealous of you:

  • They give you backhanded compliments
  • Often undermine and criticize you
  • Try to upstage and make your moments about them
  • Downplay your achievements
  • Are unenthusiastic about your accomplishments 
  • Give negative feedback
  • Are pessimistic about most things
  • Project their insecurities onto you

Can You Be Friends With Someone Jealous of You?

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@oprah You can’t be friends with anyone who is jealous of you. Can you be friends with someone who is jealous of you? #oprah 🎥 @melindafrenchgates

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The answer truly depends on your discernment. In any case, boundaries need to be put in place. Limit the amount of access they have to you and how much information you allow them to know about your life. They aren’t the ones to go to with good news or advice, as their motives are unclear. Don’t share the projects and ideas you have in the works with them until they’re done and executed. You also can communicate with them how you’ve been feeling and find a way to heal.

To be deeply envious of someone is to ultimately root for their downfall. It’s not ideal to keep someone who doesn’t want the best for you in close proximity. You can have compassion for where their envy stems from while making the decision to protect your energy. They may have been dealt a rough hand of cards, had a traumatic upbringing or not benefit from some of the privileges life has rewarded you. You can still offer empathy while choosing yourself. Jealous friends can carry a heavy weight and it’s not a burden you’re required to carry.