It may seem as though the art of courtship is fading into the background of the dating scene. While some women dream about their knight in shining armor sweeping them off their feet, they are often reminded that is simply a fairy tale. There are, however, still some good guys out there, who are advocates of courting.

A recent tweet sparked a fiery debate within the Black community, highlighting the perceived decline of courtship among Black men towards Black women. The notion that Black women must seek romance beyond their race to experience courtship has left many questioning the state of modern relationships.

Before casting judgment on an entire demographic, it’s important to understand why this idea persists and examine the role both parties play in the dating game.

Black Men and Courtship

The discourse surrounding Black men’s approach to courtship is multifaceted. Historical contexts, societal influences, and individual experiences all contribute to this narrative. Many societal influences have shaped the dynamics of Black love, affecting how romance is expressed within the community. Media portrayals can also perpetuate stereotypes that undermine the value of Black love, contributing to misconceptions about romance within the community.

However there are men who prove that courtship is alive and well within the Black community. Social media serves as a platform for individuals to share their love stories. There are countless examples of Black men who go above and beyond to court and romance their partners. From thoughtful gestures to grand gestures of love, these stories serve as a reminder that romance knows no bounds.


Not new to this, I’m TRUE to this

♬ original sound – NotWildlin

TikTok user, Wildin is a prime example of Black men who still court. He has created a series on the app called “Above the Bare Minimum” where he showcases his ability to go above and beyond for a woman. From creating a date itinerary to sending memorabilia in the mail, he proves that black men have it in them.

Taking Accountability

Considering that there are Black men who indeed, believe in romance and courtship, it may be time to look inward. It’s important to acknowledge the role Black women play in shaping their dating experiences. While external factors undoubtedly influence the dating landscape, personal standards and boundaries are equally as significant. Black women have to take ownership of their romantic destinies and refuse to settle for anything less than they deserve.

It’s easy to blame external forces for the lack of romance and courtship in your life. However, true empowerment comes from recognizing your own agency. You have to make intentional choices that align with your values. Try to challenge yourself to redefine what romance means to you and actively seek partners who are willing to meet you halfway or all the way there. Make sure not to settle on that journey.