Two years ago, I began my journey to discover what it truly means to love and worship God authentically. I knew He existed, I knew I loved Him but I fell short in the “relationship with God” aspect of my life. Through my journey, I was reintroduced to Islam, a religion I was lackadaisically raised in. I recommitted myself to it in April of 2023.
Despite growing up in a Muslim household, my journey into Islam was not without its challenges. I carried a load of misconceptions and preconceived notions about the religion due to a society that often portrayed Islam through a narrow lens. However, through my own research, I found myself shedding layers of misunderstanding and embracing a faith that felt like home.
Now, with Ramadan upon us, reflecting on my first year devoted to being a Black Muslim woman reminds me of my growth since first joining the fold.
My Journey to Choosing Islam
Being raised in a non-traditional Muslim household, I only experienced glimpses of the faith. I never ate pork. One month a year, I would wake up early to eat breakfast before the sun came up for Ramadan. But I didn’t really understand why. Despite trips to the masjid once a year for Eid al-Fitr, my understanding of Islam was superficial at best.
By the age of 16, I was tired of the lack of connection with my religion. I began looking into other beliefs and philosophical ideologies. Yet, along the many paths I traveled, I kept Islam at arm’s length. It wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I found myself revisiting the religion with a newfound sense of openness.
I began to peel back the layers of misunderstanding that affected my perception of Islam. The decision to embrace the religion was not just intellectual, it simply felt right. As I professed my faith, called taking the shahada, I felt a profound sense of peace wash over me. Yet, with this newfound faith came a flood of questions. How would I navigate the intricacies of Islamic practices? What role would my cultural identity play in shaping my journey as a Muslim woman?
And so began my journey of unlearning and growth. A journey marked by moments of doubt and clarity, struggle and triumph, as I sought to navigate the complexities of faith, identity, and belonging.
My Own Misconceptions of Being a Black Muslim Woman
Taking the shahada marked a beautiful moment in my journey, however it was the start of a very intense road ahead. As the weight of my decision settled in, I found myself grappling with preconceived notions about Islam. Many shaped by societal stereotypes and misrepresentations in media.
One of the biggest misconceptions I struggled with was the idea that I’d have to give up my individuality. Islam is believed to have rigid guidelines that conflict with personal expression, particularly for women. I feared that embracing my newfound faith meant relinquishing my autonomy, which I take pride in. The prospect of wearing the hijab, covering up and being “seen, not heard,” filled me with apprehension.
Amidst these doubts and uncertainties, I sought guidance and support from fellow Muslim sisters with different spiritual backgrounds. Through honest conversations, I came to realize that my fears were rooted in misconceptions rather than reality. I learned that Islam was far from being monolithic and oppressive. Instead, it was a dynamic faith that embraced diversity and encouraged individual interpretation.
Discovering The Truth of Islam
I discovered that wearing the hijab was a deeply personal and empowering choice for many Muslim women, myself included. It was a declaration of faith and identity, but is not a lifestyle forced upon women. Donning the hijab is a decision one makes on their own time, when they are ready, along with making the choice to dress modestly.
Moreover, I came to understand that Islam was a religion far from stifling critical thinking. Islamic teachings encouraged questioning, reflection, and lifelong learning. The pursuit of knowledge is considered a sacred duty and a means of drawing closer to the Divine. Islam is not a set of rigid rules and restrictions but as a source of guidance and inspiration. The teachings are simply a framework for living a life of purpose and meaning.
The sisterhood of Muslim women taught me to do what you feel in your heart. As a revert or convert, you are not expected to give up your old life overnight. You should simply strive to walk on the right path gradually and with grace.
Intersectionality of Identity as a Black Muslim Woman
As a Black Muslim woman, my journey of unlearning and growth is tied to an intersection of identities. Within the broader Muslim community, the realities faced by Black Muslims differ significantly from those of our Middle Eastern counterparts.
For Black women in particular, the journey of embracing Islam intersects with the lived experiences of systemic racism, gender inequality, and cultural marginalization. Our identities are shaped not only by our faith but also by the realities of a world that often fails to celebrate the fullness of who we are.
As we embrace the beauty of our Blackness and our faith, we redefine what it means to be a Muslim woman in today’s world. We share experiences of getting knotless braids, growing up with play cousins and finding makeup tricks to make us glow, all while praying five times a day. The diversity and complexity of our shared heritage is what makes embracing our Blackness and our Muslim identity a unique experience.
Ramadan 2024
As I embark on on my first Ramadan, I am filled with a mix of nerves and excitement. Ramadan isn’t merely about abstaining from food and drink. It’s a journey of spiritual renewal and self-discipline. Throughout this month, Muslims engage in fasting from dawn until sunset, refraining not only from food and drink but also from negative behaviors and thoughts. It’s a time for introspection, prayer, and acts of charity, as we deepen our connection with Allah.
For me, Ramadan is a time of profound spiritual growth and reflection. It’s a journey of self-discovery and renewal, as I deepen my connection with Allah. I am filled with hope and determination to face the challenges of this month with an open heart.
I have found strength, resilience, and a deep sense of belonging in my journey of embracing my identity as a young Black Muslim thus far. This is only one year of the rest of my life, and I intend to make it count. Ramadan Mubarak.