Celebrity love stories often captivate the public eye, especially when they involve beloved artists like Big Sean and Jhené Aiko. The two have been romantically involved for nearly a decade, welcomed a son together, and yet, they remain unmarried. This choice has sparked conversations on whether it’s fair or right to wait for marriage after having children. Similarly, R&B singer Vedo faced criticism for saying he needed to see how his partner, Shá, performed as a mother before marrying her. Both scenarios pose the question: Is it wrong to wait for marriage until after a partner has had your child?
Big Sean and Jhené Aiko: A Decade of Love Without Marriage
Big Sean and Jhené Aiko have a history that spans more than a decade, filled with love, breakups, and musical collaborations. They recently became parents to their son, Noah, but have yet to marry. In a recent interview, Sean explained his hesitation to tie the knot, emphasizing that while marriage symbolizes the best relationship to him, it also requires work and readiness.
Sean’s reluctance to jump into marriage comes from a place of caution, recognizing that the stakes are high.
“Marriage symbolizes the best relationship,” he said. “But there’s a lot of work that needs to be done.”
For Sean, focusing on their relationship and family as it stands seems more important than rushing into marriage.
While this perspective may seem practical, it raises a critical question: Is it fair to ask your partner to commit to parenthood but not marriage? For some, the commitment to raising a child should precede or coincide with the commitment of marriage. Others, like Sean, believe that the two can exist separately, with marriage coming at a later, more prepared stage.
Testing the Waters of Parenthood Before Marriage
R&B singer Vedo also caught heat for his approach to marriage. After being with his partner, Shá, for over a decade and having a child together, he explained that he wanted to see what kind of mother she would be before deciding to marry her.
“If she’s a good mom, she’s a good wife,” Vedo stated in an interview.
The backlash was swift, with many criticizing his stance as reducing his partner to a test she needed to pass before earning the title of “wife.” However, Vedo later clarified that this wasn’t his only reason for delaying marriage. Watching Shá transition into motherhood and continue to love him gave him the confidence that she would also be an excellent wife.
This perspective raises another point of contention. Judging your partner’s readiness for marriage based on how they handle parenthood, may not be the best route for nuptials. Parenthood undoubtedly reveals aspects of a person that may not be evident before children, but many disagree that it should be a deciding factor in whether or not to marry.
Is It Wrong to Wait?
The decision to wait for marriage after having a child can be seen as both practical and problematic. On one hand, waiting allows couples to grow together, navigate the complexities of parenthood, and ensure their relationship is strong enough to sustain a marriage. On the other hand, it can feel like a double standard — asking someone to commit to raising a child but not to the legal and emotional commitment of marriage.
For many, the idea of waiting to marry after having children challenges traditional views of relationships. Historically, marriage was seen as the ultimate commitment, a bond that naturally preceded parenthood. However, as societal norms evolve, more couples are choosing to prioritize other aspects of their relationship, like co-parenting or personal growth, before taking the plunge into marriage.
In the case of Big Sean and Jhené Aiko, their focus remains on their careers and their family, while marriage sits on the back burner. For Vedo, marriage came after proving their ability to transition into parenthood successfully. Both scenarios reflect a broader trend where couples prioritize stability, compatibility, and readiness over the pressure to follow a traditional timeline.
The Choice is Yours
Is it wrong to wait to marry your partner until after they’ve had your child? The answer isn’t simple, and it ultimately depends on the values, priorities, and circumstances of each couple. For some, marriage is a necessary commitment that should come before parenthood. For others, like Big Sean and Vedo, the journey to marriage might take a different path.
Love, partnership, and family don’t always follow a linear path. The most important thing is that both partners are on the same page and moving forward together, regardless of whether the next step is marriage, co-parenting, or simply navigating life as a couple.