The struggles of maintaining a healthy dating life still persist. Now, there’s a new trend to frame the issues many face: dating burnout and rust-out.
What Is Dating Burnout and Dating Rust-out?
The main difference between the two terms is the that one is about severe apathy when it comes to dating and the other is an example of over-stimulated daters needing a break. Figuring out which is which is key in understanding why you’re feeling over the dating scene.
Dating Rust-out
The cycle of talking, dating, and mind-numbing conversation over dinner seems to define dating rust-out for many. Taken from the workplace term ‘rust-out’ (used to mean extreme boredom) dating rust-out is all about the gut-sinking feeling of being repeatedly let down after a series of uninspiring dates. The theory revolves around a feeling of underwhelm that follows after a string of bad dates. Some may even feel despair about their dating lives. It may result in feeling like a failure in love or believing that a loving relationship isn’t possible.
Dating Burnout
On the other hand, dating burnout is a variation of the burnout most are familiar with, only with romance. Think of dating burnout as a combination of decision fatigue and generally overextending when it comes to meeting new romantic partners. Dating apps and online dating platforms appear to be the main culprits. A study by Singles Reports proved that almost 4 in 5 people aged 18-54 experience emotional fatigue/dating burnout when online dating (78 percent). Dating burnout has even prompted singles to delete apps altogether and seek love in old-school ways.
How To Identify Dating Burnout vs Dating Rust-Out
Identifying the difference between dating rust-out and dating burnout depends on a few behaviors and warning signs.
Dating rust-out is usually identified by a sense of feeling emotionally numb or unexcited while going through the dating cycle. Typical phrases you may hear include “What’s the point?”, “Everyone I date is the same”, or generally not offering genuine thoughts or reactions when friends try to set you up with a friend. This type of behavior is typical of the dating rust-out experience. It is rooted in a sense of feeling dissatisfied with dating while continuing to do so.
Noticing trends of dating burnout comes down to being stuck in a cycle of dating despite the physical, emotional, mental and social fatigue that it brings. You can identify dating burnout in yourself or others by the inability or unwillingness to take a pause from dating. Typical phrases associated with dating burnout may include “Going on dates feels like a chore” or endless, mindless swiping. It may sometimes look like the love for instant gratification of dating and the cycle of feeling ‘trapped’ in the addictive cycle of a social media/online app.
A Simple Reminder For the Dating Burnout/Rust-out Prone
Remember, dating is supposed to be fun, not laborious. To continue dating healthily, it may be time to address the best dating recovery method. Recognizing that dating burnout and rust-out are a thing and that many are working through it, is a great place to start. You’re absolutely not alone. Otherwise, reaching out for professional support from a relationship coach or therapist may provide additional support. It could even be helpful to set your dating apps on ‘pause’ or take a break for self-nurturing while on a break from seeing others. Finding ways to intentionally approach dating or better your wellbeing habits is a great way to continue dating in a way that feels good.