If you are looking for love, you may be able to find it in the cubicle next to yours. Dating a coworker is risky and often frowned upon, but it’s more common than you might think. Studies have shown that more than 60 percent of adult workers have had a workplace romance. Of those romances, 43 percent end up saying, “I do.” Some people, however, think their personal and professional lives should remain separate. Marquesha Wilson once shared that same sentiment.
“I’ve never dated a coworker before,” Wilson told 21Ninety. “I’ve always been against it. It’s one of my main rules in the workplace.”
Her feelings changed in July 2019 after she met a man who was interested in getting to know her outside of work. Wilson describes how she and her coworker-turned-husband navigated dating while keeping a low profile at work.
Quietly Dating
After initially meeting her husband, Wilson admits that she was hesitant about pursuing anything with him.
“I wasn’t looking to date anyone at the time and especially not at work,” Wilson said.
Once they exchanged numbers and started spending time together, things started to become serious. So, they had to be strategic. They avoided each other as much as possible at work.
“When we first started dating, we didn’t tell anyone,” Wilson explained. There was no touching, no walking each other to the car, and no being in each other’s workspace.”
The couple also worked two different shifts, so that helped. When their shifts did overlap, they would limit all conversations to a group setting. They did everything in their power to remain professional at all times.
Going Public
It wasn’t until about 6 months into the relationship that people at work found out about their romance. The couple’s work friends still continued to respect their request for privacy.
“People started to find out through social media,” Wilson said.
Things got more serious when the two decided to get engaged. The couple knew they would be a “hot topic” at work among their co-workers. But Wilson told 21Ninety she and her husband didn’t feel the need to give their work managers a heads up about the relationship.
“The only thing we addressed with managers is that our marriage has nothing to do with work,” Wilson said.
They felt especially sure of this decision because neither was a subordinate to the other.
“If my husband does something wrong at work, then that is for his manager to discuss with him, not me,” Wilson explained. “The things I do at work should not be discussed with him.”
Different companies have different polices for dating in the workplace. If you get into a workplace romance, be sure that you both are aware of what should be disclosed to your managers.
Maintaining Privacy
Of those who have dated a coworker, 57 percent say the relationship has impacted their work performance, according to Forbes. Even now that their relationship turned marriage is no longer a secret, Wilson still wants to practice a level of privacy and professionalism.
“You don’t want it to ever seem like a conflict of interest,” Wilson explained. “Even if people find out, keep your business to yourself.”
Wilson says despite the privacy concerns, there are benefits to dating someone that you work with.
“You can see them every day and they understand your career,” Wilson said. “I actually like that I have someone that can relate to my work experience.”
She says the disadvantages are always trying to keep things private and not being able to show affection toward one another at work.