Dating is already complicated for people who have the same cultural background. Dating someone who is not from the same background as you can be even more intimidating. If you are an immigrant woman in America who is looking to actively date, you may notice that your childhood stories may vary and the dynamics of your communication may differ significantly from your American date. If you fall into this category, here are eight tips on how to navigate dating in America as an immigrant woman.
Be Yourself
Although this may sound like a cliché tip, it is also priceless. As an immigrant woman, it can be easy to feel intimidated by your American date for the first few dates. This intimidation can make you feel pressured to be someone that you are not, but this is not sustainable in the long run. It is more rewarding to bring your authentic self to the table. That way, there are no false representations or impressions.
Share Your Culture
Diversity is the spice of life, and if you are a foreign woman, it is important to know that your culture is vibrant. If you are dating an American, you may notice that American culture is very "low-key" compared to other traditions across the world. Do not be afraid to share things about your culture with whoever you are dating. You never know, but this may bring the both of you closer.
American Food is Different
Compared to what you grew up eating, most American food is probably completely different from what you are used to. Depending on the type of person you date, you may notice that their taste for food wildly varies. Although this is the norm, if you are dissatisfied with what is on the menu at a restaurant, offer to cook your native dish for your next date. Further down the line, you can also try to cook some American dishes, with your twist to it.
Be Open. Try New Things
Don't be afraid to try new things and go to new places. Be open and curious about things that are not necessarily common in your culture. It is also a great idea to try to be as adventurous as reasonably possible. It can be hard to try something new when it is so different from what you are used to, but opening up and trying something new at least once, will boost your confidence and dating cultural competency.
Don’t Be Offended
As an immigrant in America, you have probably had your fair share of offensive questions that may often leave you stunned. A good approach is to make up your mind that you will not allow it to get to you. Unfortunately, as an immigrant, you are saddled with the responsibility of being an educator. Some people that you date may ask ignorant questions knowingly or unknowingly. Ultimately, it is up to you not to allow that to steal your joy.
Remember That You Are Enough
It is hard enough being a woman. But Black and brown immigrant women are also often burdened with rampant stereotypes, forcing them to make extra efforts to conform to Eurocentric beauty standards. It is not easy to tell yourself that you are equally as beautiful and fascinating as the white, brunette, or blonde, blue-eyed American girl next door. The reality is that you are enough, and you have to consciously remember that you bring a lot of intelligence, fascination, and newness to the dating game.
Stick To Your Standards
Just because your date is American does not mean you have to give up on your standards or core beliefs. Irrespective of cultural differences, it is important to have standards and an unwavering moral code. Letting go of your moral code or the standards will leave you feeling miserable and ultimately lead you to "settle" for someone who does not fit your criteria. If someone does not fit your standards, then it is okay to let them go because there are many fish in the proverbial sea.
Be Patient
Don't feel pressured to find "the one" immediately when you start dating. Take your time to observe whoever you are dating to ensure that they are the right fit before you fully commit. If you have been dating for a while and still haven't found the right person, then it is also perfectly acceptable to take a break and focus on other things.