These days, life can feel like too much. From work demands to social pressure, the weight of stress and overwhelm can disproportionately affect Black women. While therapy, boundaries and rest are often part of the healing toolkit, one simple, joyful practice is gaining traction: dilly-dallying.
The funny phrase means to waste time through aimless wandering or indecision. Although it sounds old-school, there’s power in taking time to slow down and be present—especially for Black women navigating constant pressure to “keep going.”
Is Dilly Dallying Popular?
Despite its reputation, dilly-dallying doesn’t have to mean wasting time. On TikTok, users are reclaiming the term as a grounding ritual. With over 7,000 videos under the hashtag, the trend is resonating. One popular post by content creator Dasia (@sweirdest) has gained more than 200,000 likes.
“Yall girls need to learn how to just… dilly dally. You don’t got to go to the club all the time. You don’t got to be smoking on that hookah like that. Just go on a little walk and dilly dally,” she can be heard saying in the clip.
Viewers quickly chimed in.
“That is actually great advice. I love to go romp around and I always end up finding some mess to get into.,” one comment read. “I be going places just bc. Be in Lowes looking at ceiling fans drinking a coffee and don’t even need a ceiling fan,” another user commented under the video.
Why Is Dilly Dallying Good?
Dilly dallying isn’t mischievous, when practiced effectively, it can be a great way to silence the noise. Whether it’s anxiety, depression, or feeling bored, frolicking around your environment with no structured plan is freeing. In a world where people often feel overstimulated and pressured to be over productive, dilly dallying offers a way out. It’s a healthy push to interact with the world in a real way, therefore grounding yourself in the process.
Dilly-dallying is good because it gives your mind and body a break from constant urgency and pressure. Slowing down can spark creativity, reduce stress, and help you reconnect with what actually feels good. Sometimes, the best ideas and moments come when you’re not rushing to the next thing. Plus, dilly dallying is a practice you can do with anyone, so it’s a great way to still be in community.
How Dilly Dallying Is Helpful for Black Women
Dilly-dallying can actually be a form of soft resistance for Black women. Oftentimes, these women are constantly pushed to hustle, perform, and stay productive. This can mean working past your limit at your corporate job, saying yes to all your friends even though your cup is empty, and deciding to get another degree when in reality you need a break.
Taking time to move slowly, reflect, or just exist- for yourself- is a radical act of self-care that prioritizes rest, pleasure, and personal peace. Embracing the art of the dilly-dally is a reminder that rest is not a reward, but a right. It’s choosing to honor your pace, indulge in your curiosity, and prioritize your peace, even if it looks like doing “nothing” to the outside world.
How to Dilly Dally
To dilly-dally the right way, start by giving yourself permission to slow down without guilt. Linger in bed a little longer, take the scenic route, or sip your tea without multitasking. Let yourself wander (mentally or physically) and do something just because it feels good, not because it’s productive. Whether it’s people-watching, daydreaming, or flipping through a book with no agenda, it’s all about embracing the joy of unhurried moments and letting life unfold at your own pace.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Does Dilly-Dally Mean in Slang? Google defines dilly-dallying as wandering aimlessly. People often use it playfully to call someone out for taking too long to do something or get ready. In slang it means to waste time by being slow, indecisive, or distracted.
Where Did the Term Dilly-Dally Come From? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the earliest use of the verb dilly dally was in the 1700s. A closer look at the term’s history reveals that it came from the Old French verb dally, which means conversing idly. It was later combined with the word dilly to loosely mean lingering and loitering aimlessly.