Do your friends heal you? A question that, over the last few years, I learned the answer to for myself. As someone who chooses to fight my battles silently and without the help of others, I eventually understood that sitting alone in my struggles did more harm than good.
For instance, like many others, my mental and emotional health suffered during the pandemic. I lost my job, and my future seemed uncertain. Initially, I didn’t tell my friends that my world was crumbling before me; I didn’t want to be a “burden.” So, I withdrew from the world, handling my fears and stress alone. It wasn’t until I took a trip to see my best friend, Imari, that I realized how badly I was struggling. All it took was one hug from my college best friend to patch up some of my internal wounds. One thing I appreciate about our friendship is our unspoken moments. Imari later admitted that she knew something was off. And although that one trip didn’t “fix” all of my problems, I quickly learned she was healing me in that moment.
Many of us fight secret battles. The pressures of daily life, unresolved past traumas, and personal insecurities often weigh us down. These internal struggles are rarely visible to the outside world, yet they cast a heavy shadow on our lives. But when we are in the company of true friends, those shadows tend to fade, replaced by a warm light of hope and happiness.
An article published by Psychology Today revealed that friends reduced the symptoms of stress and burnout. Therefore, experts suggest that when you’re going through a hard time, reach out to others. Amongst the chaos, our friends stand as silent pillars of support, offering a sense of belonging and understanding.
A Beautiful Distraction
Whether it’s a simple chat over coffee, a spontaneous road trip, or just an evening of shared laughter, these moments with friends divert our minds from the weight of our troubles. They remind us of life’s brighter side, offering a brief respite from our worries. Even when they don’t have solutions to our problems, the mere act of being present, listening, or sharing a moment of silliness can make a world of difference. In the thick of adversity, friends become our lifeline, bringing light into our darkest hours.
Furthermore, our friends can help us weed through small talk and discuss real issues. And those meaningful conversations are genuinely healing. When we engage with our tribe, we tap into a collective strength. It’s the kind of strength that helps you rise after a fall, reminds you of your worth when the world makes you doubt, and pushes you forward when all you want to do is retreat.
The healing power of friendship is both subtle and profound. It doesn’t necessarily offer solutions to our problems but provides a comforting presence that says, “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Maintaining Your Friendships as an Adult
Maintaining friendships as an adult requires intention and effort, given the myriad responsibilities vying for our attention. Careers, relationships, and family commitments often take precedence. Spontaneous hangouts become a rarity. However, prioritizing regular check-ins, even if just a quick call or message, can go a long way in sustaining bonds. Setting aside specific times, like a monthly dinner or a bi-weekly video call, ensures that you carve out dedicated moments for each other.
For example, Imari and I have made it a ritual to talk on the phone every Sunday. Of course, we text throughout the week, but these phone calls allow us to stay updated with each other despite living in different cities. We also make an effort to plan quick getaways with our friend group and remember to celebrate each other every time we are together.
As the demands of adulthood pile up, do your best not to let your treasured friendships slip into the background. These bonds, forged through shared experiences and memories, are a source of strength and healing. While it’s understandable that the frequency of interactions might decrease, the depth and quality of the connection don’t have to suffer. After all, genuine friendships aren’t just about how often you see one another but the feeling that things pick up right where they left off, no matter the time or distance apart.