If you’re anything like me you just turned thirty and the question you continue to hear the most is “When are you going to have a baby?!” quite annoying I know! People never fail to remind you that as a woman your biological clock is slowly ticking away.
Society has a way of making women feel required to push out kids. Lord forbid you mutter the words “I don’t want kids” people will literally try and crucify you! Listen, I get that women basically control the population and while birth rates are declining, parenthood involves sacrifices, but that sacrifice falls disproportionately on the shoulders of mothers.
Sounds somewhat unfair huh? In my opinion it is. When you’re 30 or above having baby fever should be a no brainer to many people but when you go against the “norm” you’ll get judged. However, ignore societal expectations and continue to do what’s best for YOU!
If you’re in this number of women who enjoy their freedom, are ambitious and have goals you want to achieve, enjoy traveling, and would rather watch Netflix on the weekend instead of changing diapers…you’re not alone!
The saying “misery loves company” is very true. All too often I see women who may regret not having their freedom (even though they love their kiddos deeply) try and make those without children feel guilty or throw out the word selfish a lot. It feels like they want to justify the way they’ve spent their lives. If other women don’t have more freedom than they do, they feel better about their own lives. However, I repeat continue to do what’s best for YOU and don’t get guilt tripped into having a kid if you aren’t ready.
Just because baby fever hasn’t hit you yet doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you! Take Rihanna for instance, our good Barbadian sis just turned thirty-four and is now pregnant with her first child. If Rihanna wasn’t rushing to push out kids why in the world should we?! Another great example is Tracee Ellis Ross! Highly successful, well traveled, fit and funny all at the age of 49 with ZERO kids.
Tracy Ellis Ross opened up about the societal pressures placed on women to get married and have children with People Magazine last year. When asked by the outlet if she once dreamed of a life with a large family, Ross said, "Well, how could you not? Our society spoon-feeds it to you."
”I used to put myself to sleep dreaming of my wedding. "And I would still love all of that, but what am I going to do, just sit around waiting? There are so many ways to curate happiness, find love and create a family, and we don't talk about them. It creates so much shame and judgment.”
Sis is completely right. In this new day and age reality is that everyone isn’t going to push out a baby by age 30, 35, or even 40. That doesn’t make you weird, selfish or any less of a woman. Your body, your choice, your life. When and if you’re ready to have kids is totally up to you and you don’t have to explain any of this to anyone.
Doing Women’s History Month enjoy the option of choosing to have a kid or not and if baby fever hasn’t set in yet don’t sweat it, you’re not alone sis.