Dating standards are a much debated topic in the Black community. It is not uncommon for men and women to have very particular requirements for the type of person they will or will not date. These can include physical appearance, number of children, and, for some, type of employment. In particular, the type of job a potential love interest has. Lawyer and television personality, Eboni K. Williams, recently shared her thoughts on the type of man she would date, specifically the type of employment he should have. Her comments have led to an outpouring of opinions.
In a special interview with Iyanla Vanzant, personality discussed the dating pool for Black women. Vanzant asked Williams if she would date a bus driver and Williams responded was, “If he owned the bus.” This opened up the floodgates on social media for opinions and think pieces. Half of social media users are shaming Williams for classism while the other half praise her for knowing the type of man she deserves. While the topic can be daunting, it does open up a conversation about the type of people you choose to date when it comes to your standards.
Views On Dating Outside Your Tax Bracket
Eboni K. Williams responded to the backlash in a video clip posted to her Instagram account. She framed her response from the perspective of dating a man with aspirations.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with driving a bus… but could it be that Black America has been sold a narrative of average, regular and typical being good enough for us?” Williams said in the video clip.
She challenged the idea that Black women should accept a “good man” no matter what he brings to the table. Williams further explained herself with an example of a child bringing bad grades home from school. Some parents choose to coddle their children by saying things like “That’s okay, as long as you’re doing your best,” which, according to her, is not acceptable for the people in her life whom she loves. She added that accepting mediocrity is not something she stands for herself, her family members, and more specifically her partner.
The conversation ignited by Williams is similar to a debate sparked by internet personality, B. Simone in 2020. In an interview with Nick Cannon, B.Simone, who’s real name is Braelyn Simone, stated that she refuses to date a man with a 9-5. Social media reacted to Simone’s statement similarly to Williams’. The comedian also chose to clarify her point.
“He can’t be like clocking in and clocking out. No. I think entrepreneurs should date entrepreneurs…you’re not going to understand my lifestyle. You’re not going to understand why I’m up at 3 a.m. He has to be an entrepreneur…or moving into that direction,” Simone said.
She also doubled down on Twitter saying that it’s not about money but about understanding the lifestyle she lives and having someone who can match that energy.
Williams close friend, Marc Lamont Hill, chimed in with his thoughts following the interview fallout. He said he doesn’t condone defining people by their jobs, however, he does understand that a successful and “boss” type of woman would want something similar in a partner.
On The Flip Side
While many people agree that a woman of a certain status would want a partner with a similar lifestyle, there are many on the other side of the argument. Social media debates include those vouching for men who are good partners independent of their income.
In the case of Keke Palmer, men who have money may not be the best match. Palmer had a conversation with Steve Harvey in 2019 about dating. In talk, Palmer revealed that Harvey continuously tries to set her up with billionaires. She told the host she doesn’t need that. Palmer said she wants to keep her career and her personal life separate.
Ultimately, preferences are personal. While society may not agree with your requirements for a partner, it is up to each person to determine what ultimately works for them and will make them happy. So, what would you do?