Kiara Williams, the original choreographer of Beyoncé’s cover of Earth, Wind, and Fire’s classic hit “Before I Let Go,” decided to start afresh two years ago when she was inspired to leave her typical 9-5 job. As a result of limiting societal expectations to work in unfulfilling roles and needing to sacrifice our happiness in order to survive, Williams is not only changing the narrative for Black women and women of color to live their best lives, but is also changing the scope of breaking down generational curses that have taught us to constantly put our ourselves and our dreams last.
"I grew up believing that if I wanted to be successful and financially secure, I needed to work a traditional, 9-5 job – so I went to law school, and became a lawyer. Then a few years ago, a dance I choreographed with my uncle John Bayardelle to Beyonce's "Before I Let Go" went viral. Beyoncé saw it and reposted it on her Instagram story. I was shocked, said Williams in a statement.
In addition to Kiara serving as an attorney, she is also the co-host of a late-night talk show on the Los Angeles radio station KBLA Talk 1580.
Courtesy of Kiara Williams
“I realized then that I didn't have to hide my other gifts and talents or choose between intellect and creativity. Like Beyoncé, I could do it all. She's a creative, a businesswoman, and an entrepreneur who never subscribed to the idea that she had to follow a traditional career path.”
As a result of the unresolved trauma the Black community often faces, Williams wanted to change the narrative by writing her own book entitled “Therapy Isn’t Just For White People,” as well as releasing her own card game, LikeU that celebrates human connection and meaningful conversation.
We had the chance to speak to Kiara one-on-one in getting to know her story and talk about how she has decided to break the generational traumas by living her best life.
Gabrielle Tazewell: Can you tell me a little about your background? Where did you grow up and how has your adolescence shaped where you are today?
Kiara Williams: My parents had me when they were students at Cornell University. My mom was 19 and my dad was 21. I grew up on campus and went to classes with my parents. My mom went on to become a doctor and my dad a lawyer. I have two younger siblings – my brother Sanford who is also a doctor, and my little sister Nia who just graduated from college. I spent my early formative years in Charlottesville, Virginia. Growing up, I was always one of the only Black kids in my class. I desperately wanted to fit in with the other girls. I wanted fair skin and long, straight hair like the white girls in my class, not brown skin and 4c kinks and coils. I remember going to sleepovers when I was little and being ashamed to wear the bonnet my mom packed in my bag – so most times, I wouldn't. I didn't; want to deal with the questions. I usually woke up the next morning looking like I stuck my finger in a socket.
My dad recently found a story I wrote when I was 8-years-old in one of his old filing cabinets. I was shocked to see that I had drawn myself in the book as a white character. Back then, all the books we read in school – "Little Women," "Secret Garden," "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" were about little white kids. Not once in elementary school did we read a book with a main character who looked like me. I moved to Manassas, Virginia when I was in the 7th grade. Manassas is best known for being the place where the first battle of the Civil War occurred. Although my middle school was still predominantly white, there were more kids that looked like me. That’s when it became clear to me how racially confused I was. The Black kids told me I talked like a white girl. The white kids assumed I was less intelligent than they were. It wasn’t until years later that I gained a healthy appreciation for my identity as Black woman.
GT: How is your new book, “Therapy Isn’t Just For White People,” a testimony to the Black community and their mental health? Why is therapy a crucial aspect of our healing as a people?
KW: Like a lot of people – especially people in the Black community – I was skeptical of therapy. In the Black community, many of us were taught that we are too blessed to be stressed, or that we can simply pray our problems away. We were taught to be strong, and to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders without complaint. Therapy was for crazy people, or people with deep psychological issues. I reluctantly tried therapy for the first time in my late twenties at the suggestion of a friend. I was in the midst of navigating what has been dubbed by many, “a quarter-life crisis.” I didn’t know who I wanted to be in this world, or how I was supposed to get there. I felt sad, lost, lonely, and confused. I was unhappy with my career, and struggling in my current relationship. I was anxious all the time, and nothing seemed to help. I didn’t know then that going to therapy would be a life changing experience. I learned a valuable lesson – just because we can handle something on our own, doesn’t mean we have to. Even though I had a happy upbringing with two loving parents, I had a lot of trauma. I define trauma as anything that changes the way we see ourselves, the world around us, or God in a negative light.
Black people in America deal with a lot of micro-traumas, or mini traumas that add up over time. They stem from things like repeated microaggressions, racial bias, societal pressures, combating stereotypes, and the mental fatigue that comes from seeing the murder of Black bodies by police, just to name a few. As Black people, it’s important that we learn to take care of our mental health. We can’t show up for anyone else – our friends, our families, our children, our communities – if we don’t take care of our own mental health. I want Black people to know that going to therapy is not a display of weakness, but a display of emotional intelligence and strength.
Courtesy of Kiara Williams
GT: It’s so amazing how you’ve seamlessly taken your power back from limiting societal beliefs that have told us we need to subscribe to a traditional career path. Can you tell me more about what motivated you to become your own boss and to start rewriting your own story?
KW: I’ve always had a lot of passions. In high school, I played basketball, I ran track, I was on the dance team, student council, Vice President of the Spanish Honor Society, an honor roll student, and the host of our morning announcement show. Every time someone asked me what I wanted to do, I’d panic internally. I wanted to do a lot of things, but people just wanted one answer. After college, I attended law school at the University of Virginia. I moved to Los Angeles after graduation to practice entertainment law. I liked some things about practicing law, but something was missing. I wasn’t fulfilled. Then a few years ago, a dance I choreographed with my uncle John Bayardelle to Beyoncé's "Before I Let Go" went viral. Beyoncé saw it and reposted it on her Instagram story. I was shocked. I realized then that I didn't have to hide my other gifts and talents or choose between intellect and creativity.
Like Beyoncé, I could do it all. She's a creative, a businesswoman, and an entrepreneur who never subscribed to the idea that she had to follow a traditional career path. I left my 9-5 shortly after that and have been pursuing lots of different creative projects ever since. In addition to creating the LikeU Cards with my colleagues Michael Nelder Henderson III and Brian Taylor, I'm a radio host, business affairs consultant, and author of the upcoming book Therapy Isn't Just For White People. The ironic part is, I'm much more financially secure now than I ever was working a 9-5 job.
GT: What is some advice you would give to those struggling to quit an unfulfilling job that no longer serves us and our needs?
KW: First, I would say it's important to quiet all the voices in your head that don’t belong to you – your parents, your coworkers, your ex, your pastor, your old roommate. To the best of your ability, you have to hone in on what your voice is saying. What do you want? Who do you want to be? Changing courses can feel chaotic, but when you’re clear on who you want to be, that can be your north star. From a practical standpoint, having a plan of attack can also help you feel secure in your decision. Do you want to work for another company, or do you want to work for yourself? If you want to start your own company, how much money do you need to have saved before you can leave your current role? How long will it take your business to be profitable taking into account overhead, materials, marketing, and taxes? At the end of the day, you’re the CEO of your life. If you want control, take it. If you want change, make it. If you want success, create it.
GT: What are a few pivotal lessons you’ve learned this year that can serve as a beacon of hope for others?
KW: I lost my Grandma to Covid earlier this year and it reminded me how important it is to be present in our lives, and not to take anything or any person for granted. The past few years have been hard on a lot of people, and a lot of people are on edge. I try to remind myself now in every interaction that I don’t know what the other person might be going through, or how they might be suffering. It allows me to show up in most situations with grace and patience. If we all show up for each other that way, I believe we’ll see a lot of emotional healing in our communities.
Courtesy of Kiara Williams
GT: Can you tell me a little about a day in life? What does your morning routine consist of and what are some daily routines and rituals that have helped put you on a pathway to success?
KW: My weekdays are usually pretty full. I’m a business affairs consultant, so I spend my mornings negotiating deals for my clients in the entertainment industry. I’m also live on the radio five days a week from 4pm – 7pm on KBLA 1580, so I leave for the studio every day around 3pm. When I get home at night, I spend my time either writing or handling logistics for my card game, LikeU Cards, which will be in Target stores nationwide Spring of 2022. I think we talk a lot about what motivates us in our culture, but not a lot about discipline. Motivation is great, but sustained success requires discipline even when you’re not feeling motivated. I take my weekends very seriously and try to rest as much as possible! I love hiking, reading, and binge-watching TV shows. I’m a huge fantasy nerd. My latest obsession has been The Witcher on Netflix.
Please be sure to follow Kiara on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and don’t forget to check out her new book, Therapy Isn’t Just For White People, and Like U card game here.