Tamron Hall is a veteran journalist and astounding talk show host who prides herself on holding “meaningful, engaging, and entertaining” conversations. In addition, Hall is also a longtime advocate against domestic violence — the effects of which she knows all too well. In 2004, Hall’s sister Renate was found “beaten and floating face down” in the pool of her Houston home. Renate’s death was ruled a homicide, yet no one was charged with her murder nor was a suspect named. To this day, Renate’s case remains unsolved.
Hall, who publicly spoke of dealing with extreme guilt after the passing of her sister, went on to launch the “Shine A Light” campaign. “I want [victims] to know that these hands are reaching out to them. And we’re going to pull them out of the dark hole into the light,” she told Today, in 2014. Eight years later, Hall is continuing her advocacy; partnering with Purina to launch The Purple Leash Project, a national initiative to increase the number of pet-friendly domestic abuse shelters in the U.S from 15 percent to 25 percent. And provide much-needed resources to survivors and their pets. To date, Purina has provided over $1 million of funding to the initiative.
Read as Hall shares how we can better approach the conversation of domestic violence with our loved ones and why providing a safe haven for family pets is crucial to aiding victims in finding refuge. Hall also sends a message to rapper Blueface and Chrisean Rock, a couple who have found themselves in the midst of domestic violence allegations and public physical altercations.
Jadriena Solomon: Nearly 40% of Black women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime — a staggering statistic that hits even closer to home when it happens to someone you dearly love. First and foremost, can you tell us a little more about your sister?
Tamron Hall: Oh wow. Well, there’s so much to say about my sister, but she was absolutely amazing and lived a very vibrant, fun-lived life. I know we often say that certain people live life to the fullest, but she really did. From an early age, she was very unapologetic about being rebellious and always the life of the party. She was the aunt that our nieces and nephews knew would allow them to do anything their parents told them not to. And like so many people, I feel, she did not recognize what she was in until it was too late.
What I mean by that is that my sister, early on in her life, would say she’d fallen into this cycle of abuse — not just with one relationship, but many relationships — where she believed that love had to hurt. That love being volatile was acceptable. And that is what I believe she would describe the relationship that she was in before her death — one that she believed was love, but it was fraught with violence. And she thought that that was the only way it was supposed to be.
JS: You shared that your journey to speak out about domestic violence was based on conversations you had with your sister before her passing. Almost twenty years ago, I’m sure the conversation about domestic violence was much more taboo than it is today. How do you feel the conversation around domestic violence has changed? And what progress still needs to be made to help victims share their stories and find aid before it’s too late?
TH: Yes, there’s so much that needs to be done which is why we are talking about The Purple Leash Project. I did not know that e only about 15% of shelters take in survivors of domestic violence and their pets. And around 50% of people who are in homes when there is violence delay leaving because they don’t want to leave their pets behind. In my many years of speaking out about my sister’s death, and my many years of being a journalist and covering different types of domestic violence stories, I never knew this was a problem. It never crossed my mind that there were people in their homes, right now, who want to leave but also love their pets and want to bring them with them. And they may not want to turn to a family member, or their children, and say, ‘We’re going to leave but we’re also going to leave our dog behind.’ How do you explain to a child that they’re going to leave their home and also leave their pet behind? So the conversation has many parts that are unknown but the power is that we’re talking about it together. We’re bringing light to this part of the battle to end domestic violence with The Purple Leash Project.
I think we also need to readjust how we treat and support survivors of domestic violence. The reason I came out about my sister’s story is that when I look back, I realize that I thought telling her to ‘just leave’ was motivating. But it was actually helping to keep her there because she felt that she was stuck between a rock and a hard place and didn’t know what to do. So for me, coming out with her story was to help other family members to learn how to speak to their loved ones and to understand that support doesn’t have to be black and white. It doesn’t have to be, ‘Well, if you don’t leave, you are doing something wrong.’ It’s a gradual and growing conversation. And sometimes the conversation is just us listening. So I do believe we’ve gotten better about that. I hope that my advocacy on behalf of survivors of domestic violence has contributed to that. And I recognize that even our conversations about things like women’s empowerment advance that conversation as well. We’re talking about it in open ways, and not boxes and boundaries, and that’s always a good thing.
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JS: You mentioned that sometimes when we have a loved one that’s going through domestic violence, we often think that the best thing to do is to tell them to leave. But like you said, that can be the most harmful thing because it puts them in an even tighter situation. What advice would you give to someone who has a family member or a friend that is currently going through a situation like that? What would be something helpful for them to say? What attitude should they keep when having these conversations, from your experience?
TH: Listen. It’s about listening. It’s like anything in life, the best friends we have are the best listeners. And even in crisis, being patient and listening — yes, the clock is absolutely ticking, and we want to get people out of homes when there’s violence as quickly as possible — but everything has to be measured. It has to be compassionate. We have to lead with truly the desire to listen without interjection, without interruption, without judgment, and assure our loved ones that there’s a net that will catch them when they’re ready.
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JS: I would remiss if I let you go and didn’t get a word from you regarding a huge example of domestic violence that has been in the public eye for some time now: rapper Blueface and his girlfriend Chrisean Rock. Chrisean took to Instagram Live earlier this week, in the midst of allegedly being assaulted by Blueface. She said he blacked her eye and lip while they were in a moving vehicle after she attempted to jump out of the car to get away from him. A day later, she walked back her claims, saying that it never happened and she was on a bad trip with alcohol. This isn’t the first time their tumultuous relationship has gone viral, earlier this summer the couple was videotaped assaulting each other on the street. Are there any words of wisdom or words of advice you’d like to offer Chrisean? As well as those who are also watching this relationship unfold on social media every day?
TH: I will say I, like everyone watching, am deeply concerned. I don’t know either of them. I do not know the situation — none of us do. I know that there are allegations that have been made and retracted. I know that there are parents involved, and I’ve seen all of the videos.
Some often wonder if I want people to call me because I want them to be on ‘The Tamron Hall Show’ — I would want them to call me because I can tell them what I’ve seen, I don’t care if they come on the show. I would love to confidentially — not as a mother figure, not as a friend figure but as someone who lost my sister to violence and the cycle of it — talk with both of them and let them know what happened to Renate, what I saw over the years, and what I’ve experienced. But please know my heart. The other day when I saw the video posted of the recent allegation and then the video that followed, I’ve never wanted to know two people so much in my life so that I could help, if anything. They’re both clearly in turmoil, and this is playing out on social media and it is not helpful to anyone. It’s as heartbreaking as the videos that were posted of Takeoff. Both things are destructive to the stability that young Black people deserve.
I’m deeply concerned for both of them, but for her as a woman and knowing what my sister experienced. It is disorienting for the conversation of domestic violence because there are retractions and allegations, and that’s what muddies the water when it comes to domestic violence. And that’s why some victims are not believed. That’s why some survivors are afraid to come out. So I express no judgment, but I’m here for the love. I don’t care if they come on the show, but I would answer their call in a second. Either one of them.