When you’re a young child, you’re too present and at the mercy of adult guidance to waste time wondering who you are. When you’re older, you’ve garnered enough wisdom and experience to never question who you are.
It’s those years in between, your 20s and 30s, where the pressure to define yourself is met with a constant shedding of skin. When you think you’ve got a clear image of who you are, you undergo yet another metamorphosis. Whether its pivoting careers or ending relationships, questioning all over again who you truly are and what you truly want. Many describe this as feeling lost, an unpleasant sentiment of being unclear about your self-image and true desires. However, with a simple shift in perspective, feeling lost can actually be something to lean into rather than solve.
How To Redefine Feeling Lost
Feeling lost is usually the result of uncomfortable change. You may be falling out of love with your career, disconnected in your relationship, alienated in your friendships or itching to move elsewhere. If you’ve outgrown your circumstances, they’re still familiar and no longer identifying with them is a grief in itself.
Though it can be disorienting, feeling lost is an indication that you’re on the precipice of major up-leveling. It can prepare you to meet a version of yourself you haven’t yet bloomed into. By no longer finding joy in old circumstances or iterations, you have a blank slate to create and discover what does align. You get to explore and cosplay through potential expressions of self until one feels just right. You can take a trip, try new hobbies, socialize in new circles and let your emotions be your compass. Lean into what lights you up and let go of what dims you.
Social media can be misleading, and it can seem as if everyone else is sure of their path, making you feel like you need to rush and catch up. A lot of the anxiety that accompanies these seasons is a result of wanting to force your evolution, but it’s important to remember that a caterpillar does not become a butterfly overnight. Beyond that, a lot of the work in metamorphosis is the art of surrender. Rather than panicking over trying to figure out who you are or forcing yourself into certain identities in search of safety, let it be a slow and organic becoming. By taking your time transforming, you ensure that the change is both lasting and authentic.