For much of her life, Kelli Mason was single—a season that included 17 years of what she describes as “intentional abstinence.” During that time, she focused on her faith, serving as a pastor in her church’s singles ministry. However, Mason eventually realized that if she wanted to find the love she believed was out there, she had to actually do something about it.

“I decided it was time to shift my focus on discovering the love that I was believing for, but not making any room in my life for nor ensuring it was a  priority to get outside, so I could see what all was going on and be seen!” Mason said.

Prioritizing Love

Mason’s next move was no small feat. It was one of those big leaps of faith that can change the whole trajectory of someone’s life.

“I sold my home,  resigned from my job, packed up and moved from DC to NC,” Mason said. “For me, I needed to make a clean break from my long-held routine and breathe the air of a different region.”

All major changes to help her prioritize finding love. Once she settled into her new city she got to work.

“I got outside! I intentionally slowed down, paid more attention to people as I moved  about my day, attended mixers and social gatherings, and even hopped online for a bit,” Mason said. “I  enjoyed the dating process – even with some wild and interesting experiences. I dated W.W.O  (well, wide and often). I learned that the dating process actually taught me more about myself  than the gentlemen I was entertaining.”

Leaving her job, selling her home, moving to a new city and her W.W.O dating plan all worked. One night, at a mixer, she met the man who would eventually become her husband. At 45 years old, Mason got married for the first time.

“I am grateful, so incredibly grateful, for the partner that I have,” Mason said. “My husband is the romance  experience that I hoped for yet didn’t know that I needed.”

Love Later

The interest in finding love later in life love has grown in recent years. Shows, like “The Golden Bachelor,” “The Later Daters” and “Ready to Love,” all feature singles, forty and older, searching for romance and love. Online and on social media, the current narrative is that for Black women that search for love, especially later in life, is not always easy. While there are several research papers and studies about the complexities of dating as a Black women, especially as you age, the constant negative messaging can be deeply discouraging. It certainly is tough to look for love unsuccessfully as a woman of color. There are stories, like Mason’s that prove it is possible even years down the road. Mason says there are some real benefits to entering into a relationship later in life.

“You’ve lived honey! And you’ve experienced life – you have some proverbial notches on your  belt. So you come to the dating scene with a more seasoned, mature and wise perspective,” Mason explained.

At 54 years old, Genevieve Burkett, says she has finally found a healthy relationship with a person who loves her unconditionally, flaws and all. Like Mason, she sees the upside to meeting a match later.

“We’re past the stage of raising young kids or thinking about having more babies. Been through all that already. Plus, men my age are usually more established and have learned most of their life lessons by now,” Burkett said.

Unlike Mason, Burkett wasn’t looking for love when she found it later in life. She was previously married to her high school sweetheart. After that relationship ended, she mostly focused on her personal growth. She did continue to date and eventually met her current partner.

While both women tout the benefits of dating later, they also point out one distinct challenge.

“It’s tricky out there, as many individuals in my age group tend to be quite fixed in their perspectives and resistant to personal growth,” Burkett said.

Mason also dated some people who seemed “stuck in their ways.”

“Some of the challenges that I experienced while dating over the age of 40 were centered  around fixed mindsets and an inability to be flexible in perspective and desire to evolve,” Mason explained.

Staying Hopeful

In speaking to both women, there’s a clear lightheartedness in relation to love and romance. A visit to their social media pages show it too. It’s a welcome breath of fresh air and shift in the narrative that often leaves Black women with little hope. For each, the statistics don’t matter. They found the love they were seeking later in life and they truly believe other women just like them can too.

“Stay positive and hopeful! Trust that the right person will come into your life in due time,” Burkett advised. “Don’t be desperate and settle. There are more and more people my age and older finding love these days.”