Dating can be challenging. Honestly, it can be a scam if a woman is unaware of the tell-tale signs, she should be looking for. Of course, personalities blending, ideologies, career goals and ambitions are important. Equally as important are answers and the manner in which a potential partner answers things or the indifference someone shows to a woman’s interests. Have you ever dated someone and initially it appeared you were a match made for eternity? Bae answered all the questions correctly, aligned with your thought processes, viewed the world in a refreshing manner; gave hope when despair was near. Fast forward and Bae booked a one-way ticket from Hades. This happens because as women, we talk our desires, and our partners listen to morph into who we want them to be. By the time we have written their last names as our own and contemplated our future together, we discover BAE “ain’t it.”
And there are red flags that were probably displayed but often overlooked.
THEY ALLOW YOU TO TALK THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION
When we meet someone, we are enthused and interested. We hang onto their every word. However, the conversation isn’t effective if it’s one way. When your future Bae allows you to do all of the talking without contributions, Bae is learning the ideal mate for you and will present his/herself as such. This is inauthentic.
THEY REFER TO THEIR EX AS THE ISSUE
A broken clock is right at least twice a day. Even if their ex was birthed by lucifer himself, the individual has some accountability in the relationship. Whether it was Bae staying with the ex after the first incident or Bae leaving and going back, Bae contributed to the demise and the fact Bae does not accept accountability in the relationship sets the precedence for any relationship moving forward. BAE will always make everyone else the issue.
THEY TELL YOU THAT THEY DON’T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, BUT CROSS BOUNDARIES
This is the doozy. Bae wants all of your free time, but doesn’t want the commitment. You understand the need to form relationships when they are organic and authentic, so it isn’t a big deal to take things slow. This works until Bae disregards your boundaries. For some individuals cooking meals are reserved for relationships as well as sex. However, Bae wants those things without the commitment, and this should be a huge red flag. It reeks of manipulation and disregard.
THEY TEST YOU IN HYPOTHETICAL SITUATIONS
The most toxic thing is to test individuals. It isn’t necessary nor does it really suggest or show how someone will really act in that situation. No one knows how they will respond unless they are in that situation. So if Bae keeps placing hypotheticals or testing you, it is a sign that Bae has some unresolved trauma and insecurities.
THEY SHUT DOWN WHEN CONFRONTED
Maintaining peace is a priority, but when Bae refuses to address issues that are present by shutting down, it only festers. This isn’t a healthy way to resolve issues and it demonstrates that Bae has no conflict resolution nor emotional intelligence to engage in conflict resolution.