Every single day, more women are breaking up with the antiquated work model. No longer wanting to drain their lifeforce for corporations who don’t see their value, women are in the age of the entrepreneur. The “girl boss” movement has empowered millions to take matters into their own hands.
However, breaking up with a traditional 9 to 5 comes with its own setbacks. Amidst following your passion and working on your own schedule, it is easy for women to experience burn out. Your nervous system is frantically trying to keep up with a workload that would normally span across several employees.
Business coach Fi Simler, the brains behind Astra Biz Coaching, has devoted herself to helping entrepreneurs achieve their fullest potential. As a queer woman of color eager to dismantle outdated ways of working, she offers 21Ninety valuable insight on protecting your well-being while working for yourself.
21NINETY: How can female entrepreneurs work smarter, not harder?
FI SIMLER: AI is huge for me right now. ChatGPT has shaved off five [to] 15 hours from my work weeks. But, like anything, you need to know how to use it right. Otherwise, you’re just fighting the bots instead of letting them do the heavy lifting for you.
Also, learn how to sell. You’re going to be selling every single day in your business. It’s unavoidable. The sooner you drop the idea that sales is evil and actually hone your sales skills, the faster you’ll hit your income goals without running yourself into the ground.
21N: How do you honor rest and self-care while running your own business?
FS: I was told years ago to try to give yourself two days off in a row. So, I do that as best I can and I’m successful about 90 percent of the time. The other 10 percent, I work leisurely on a Saturday afternoon or Sunday evening, so that I can sleep in on Monday and not start work till noon.
Also, [separate] your identity and worth as a human outside of what you produce! Capitalism teaches us that our worth is measured by how much we produce, but that’s a lie designed to keep us running on empty. I honor my self-care by actively unlearning that conditioning, especially as a queer woman of color, reminding myself that rest isn’t laziness and my value as a human isn’t tied to my output. The more I separate my identity from my business, the more freedom, creativity and sustainability I actually create in my life and work.
21N: What are some signs that your work is burning you out?
FS: I’ll break it down into Fight, Flight, and Freeze. Fight [means] resenting your audience [and] hating everything you create. Flight [is] keeping busy instead of productive. Suddenly you need to reorganize your closet, run errands or do literally anything but work. Freeze [can be] doom scrolling to avoid the hard s— you don’t have answers for yet.
There are plenty more, but these are the ones I’ve definitely been guilty of.
21N: As someone far into her business, what advice do you wish you could give your early self?
Really understand that anyone who goes from zero to six figures in less than five to seven years is an anomaly. The runway is long. Set your expectations accordingly, and for the love of god, get support and find community.
21N: Is it possible to stay spiritually aligned and protect your nervous system while running a successful business?
FS: Yes, absolutely. But, it’s a skill, and like any skill, it takes time to develop. When you’re no longer an employee, no one’s handing you a framework, setting the rules or telling you what the parameters are. That means you have to build the muscles of healthy discipline. Keep the promises you make to yourself because if you don’t, your body will stop believing you when you say you’re going to do something. Once that happens, you’re stuck doing the extra work of reteaching your nervous system how to trust you again.
Don’t overcomplicate it. You already know what to do. Eat balanced meals, rest [and] get real sleep. People repeat this advice every day because it works. The hard part isn’t knowing what to do. The hard part is actually doing it.
21N: What do you think is flawed about “girl boss” culture?
FS: Traditional mid-2010s “girl boss” culture took grind culture, slapped a chevron pattern on it, and told women the hustle was the key to self-realization. We’ve all seen the memes of the last decade. We’re aware that a one-dimensional definition of success is simply hard work and ambition. [It] completely [ignores] the systemic barriers upheld by racist, classist, patriarchal capitalist structures.
I think women now, especially the women of color, are much quicker to challenge existing power systems.
21N: What’s one piece of advice you’d give every girl boss out there?
FS: Get intimately familiar with what truly fuels you. Not the external accolades, not what impresses other people, but what genuinely excites and fulfills you.
When you’re deeply connected to your intrinsic motivators, you cultivate a sense of fulfillment and resilience that no external reward can match. You build a business that feels aligned, sustainable and actually worth it. If you don’t know what’s driving you, [then] you’ll end up running in circles chasing a version of success that was never yours to begin with.
This article has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.