Have you all seen the first date list? Recently, a list of restaurants has gone viral for spots women don’t want to be taken to for their first date, including some of the beloved chain restaurants we all know and love. Now, the internet is in a frenzy on whether this viral list is realistic or women’s standards are too high.

I consider myself pretty expensive and would never accept a first date at the Waffle House, but some things on this list completely shocked me. Like, what has The Cheesecake Factory ever done to anyone? And whoever added it to the list obviously doesn’t enjoy the warm brown bread basket with butter.

Is This List Realistic? Or Are Standards Too High?

Truthfully, a couple of factors make this list impractical: the age range of participants, income, and more. Crucial details, like how much someone makes per year, allow specific standards. That’s why some people view this list as nothing but an unrealistic fantasy.

A lot of these places are household names in American dining. While they offer a range of options and are generally pocket-friendly, many women view them as too casual for a first date. And to some, casual equates to a lack of effort.

For instance, movie nights, such as Netflix, Hulu, etc., made it to the list. A movie night is the perfect date night, but not for the first date. “Netflix and Chill” hints at casual physical intimacy without the commitment of a relationship. While it’s budget-friendly and relaxed, many women perceive it as a red flag for men who need to be more serious about dating.

Some might also argue that if they take you courtside of a sports event, why would it be an issue? However, some women, myself included, do not enjoy most sports. Therefore, we don’t think you should waste your money. Also, a basketball game might not offer the ideal setting for meaningful conversation.

For the other listed events like nightclubs or family functions…absolutely not! Now, I understand if you’re dating a friend, you feel like taking them to a family function for a first date isn’t crossing a boundary, but once again, it seems too relaxed and lacks effort.

You’re Allowed to Have Standards

Central to the controversy around this list is the topic of standards. There’s nothing wrong with having standards. At my age, if you take me to IHOP for a first date, I won’t be rude and refuse to get out of the car like The Cheesecake Factory Lady, but you will never hear from me again.

Credit: Moniquelsantos09/TikTok

Where she could have done better was in her attitude and delivery. Not to mention locking the door of a car you don’t own, but I digress.

Knowing one’s worth and what one is looking for in a partner is crucial. For Black women, the stakes are even higher. Society, in subtle and overt ways, often pressures Black women into lowering their standards. There’s a pervasive stereotype that suggests Black women shouldn’t desire luxury or high-quality experiences. By refusing specific venues or experiences, they challenge these societal expectations and affirm their worth.

While this viral list offers a humorous and sometimes accurate insight into the dating preferences of modern women, it’s essential to strike a balance. While having standards is critical, flexibility and open-mindedness can lead to unexpected and meaningful connections. After all, the venue is just the beginning; the real magic lies in the connection between two people.