When you’re in the process of healing, no two days are alike. It is everything but linear. The truth is, on our best days we can feel like we're totally in charge of our hearts and minds. But on our worst, we can question if we'll ever feel whole again. It can be difficult to truly gauge your progress. Have you really gotten past it? Are you actually unbothered and minding the business that pays you? Can you fully forgive? These can be tough answers to arrive at on your own.
So, here are some signs of true healing that can help reassure you when times get hard.
Your Good Days Far Outweigh Your Bad
Taking a moment to reflect and genuinely assess how you’re feeling from day to day is a great way to track your healing. It’s easy to succumb to your negative feelings and then make them your default but this won’t give you an accurate read on your progression. Journaling, meditating and even checking in with trusted friends who’ve been on this journey with you can be a great way to see how far you’ve come. When you start to see that your days are much more positive, you’re happier for longer periods of time and you’re feeling more like yourself than before—-that’s a pretty great sign that your work is working!
You Offer Yourself Compassion
When we’re able to take time to work through pain, disappointment, heartbreak or anything else life throws our way sometimes we can come to a place of recognizing our own role in these situations. Nothing hits harder than coming face to face with your mess. However, we are all just doing our best at any given time. We don’t know what we don’t know until we do know, feel me? And when you’re able to accept responsibility without burying yourself in shame and instead meet yourself with love, understanding and compassion—-you are planting the seeds for beautiful renewal. You’re doing a great job, sweetie!
You’re Not Denying Your ‘Bad’ Feelings
It’s ok to not be ok. If you’re having a particularly triggered day and you’re able to name it, accept it and keep right on moving, that is progress. Not everyday is going to be smooth sailing and to expect that sets you up to be harder on yourself than you need to be. Having the power to simply say, “I’m sad” or “I’am angry today” with no judgment is a surefire way to know that you are, in fact, healing. Unhealed people tend to deny the feelings they don’t think they are “allowed” to have. Every feeling is valid but, thankfully, not every feeling lasts forever.
You’re Clear On What Really Matters
When we’re in the midst of a storm, we can tend to downplay the people and things that are abundant in our lives. We shut down from family and friends. We complain about the jobs we manifested. We pick apart every single detail of our circumstances that we, usually, are more than content with. It’s just our pain leading the way. Over time, as you start to heal, your focus will realign and you’ll see how much good is in your life. You’re reminded of how you are loved more than you ever thought possible by the people who mean the most to you. You start to recognize your blessings for what they are and you let anyone that has left go with ease. You're in the flow and we love to see it.
You Practice Gratitude
For the big things and the small things. You count your wins. You find joy in the everyday moments that sadness can make you ignore. You are reminded of how lucky you are to have another day to grow and come back home to yourself. To even have the opportunity to heal is a sign that there is so much more for you to do. A grateful heart is a major key to knowing that you are healing no matter what it seems like.
Wherever you are on your road to wholeness, I salute you, sis!