I’ve wanted to always be around others for the majority of my life. My sister was 13 years older than me and moved out as soon as she could. Basically, I was raised as an only child, and often felt very alone. I would always ask to have friends sleep over. And even as I got older, I always wanted to be at parties and around lots of people. For example, my first time moving out was with my ex-partner. I never desired to be alone until we broke up, and I had to find a place of my own. Two years later, I have found solace in the quiet moments of my life. Living alone is a transformative experience that I never knew I needed.
Discovering the Joy of Self-Company
I genuinely understand and appreciate my own company now that I live alone. Generally, I feel pressure to conform to societal expectations. We have all probably fallen victim to it. Yet, living in solitude allowed me to embrace my authentic self without external influences. I’ve learned to enjoy the simple pleasures of being alone, relishing in the freedom to choose my own pace and pursue activities that bring me genuine joy.
The moments spent in solitude have become a sacred space for self-reflection and growth. It’s in these moments that I’ve discovered the strength within myself. In turn, I’ve fostered a sense of independence and self-reliance that has empowered me to navigate life confidently .
Finding Serenity in Solitude
Contrary to the misconceptions surrounding loneliness, my time alone has become a source of profound serenity. I lived a very fast-paced life filled with constant noise and demands. Having a space where I can retreat and reconnect with my inner self has become essential for my well-being.
I have the luxury of not having to do anything anyone else wants, whether I’m enjoying a quiet cup of tea in the morning or spending Friday nights in bed reading. I choose whatever I want to do without anyone else’s influence. These solitary moments have allowed me to recharge and find balance amidst life’s chaos. In solitude, I’ve discovered a sense of inner peace that transcends my physical space, and spreads into various aspects of my life.
Creating a Warm Home: A Reflection of Identity
My living space is not just a place to rest my head, it is my home. I’ve created a space that is comfortable for me to escape the world from. My home infuses different colors and artworks that describe me. Essentially, I’ve decorated and created an atmosphere in my phone similar to what I think the inside of my mind would look like. I am living as if I am within myself.
I’ve cultivated a haven that goes beyond physical comfort. It’s a warm and inviting space that acts as a sanctuary. It embraces my history, acknowledges my struggles, and celebrates my triumphs. The walls of my home echo with the rhythm of my experiences, and every piece of decor tells a story of resilience and strength.
Safety in Solitude
Living alone as a Black woman, creating a safe haven is crucial to my well-being. In the solitude of my home, I find refuge from the outside world. It’s a space where I can let my guard down, free from the burden of societal expectations and stereotypes. Here, I am free to express myself authentically and navigate the complexities of life without fear. I rarely even allow people to into my space unless I know they are aligned with the energy I’ve set here.
This sense of safety extends beyond the physical walls of my home, it is an internal sanctuary that I carry with me. In the moments of solitude, I’ve cultivated a deep understanding of my worth and a profound love for the person I’ve become.
The journey of living alone has been a multifaceted exploration of self-discovery, serenity, and identity. Through the lens of solitude, I have learned to be alone but not lonely, and in the quiet moments, I have found a profound sense of peace and empowerment. My home became a reflection of who I am and a sanctuary of safety and growth for me. I’m a walking testament to the beautiful outcome of embracing one’s own company and finding love in the solitude of self.