We quickly learn that relationships require a hefty amount of work, both new relationships and long-term marriages. There is a certain level of effort put in to prevent the love from becoming stagnant. Specifically, reduced effort causes the romance to wane, too. This is the essence of ‘relationship boredom’. While you can work towards a healthier relationship, you cannot force it, and sometimes you can’t do it alone.
Keeping relationships vibrant and far from boring is what Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario does best. Becoming a force in the marriage and relationship coaching realm for the past 20 years, she has earned the title of ‘America’s Marriage Coach’. Dedicating her time to helping couples cultivate the skills for a healthy relationship and marriage, Dr. Del Rosario is strengthening society’s ability to love with greater appreciation, one couple at a time. Read on to explore how to save a romantic bond from relationship boredom with these expert tips.
Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario on Relationship Boredom
Keeping relationships vibrant is what Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario does best. Becoming a force in the marriage and relationship coaching realm for the past 20 years, she has earned the title of ‘America’s Marriage Coach.’ Dedicating her time to helping couples cultivate the skills for a healthy relationship and marriage, Dr. Del Rosario is strengthening couples ability to love with greater appreciation, one couple at a time. Read on to explore how to save a romantic bond from relationship boredom with these expert tips.
21Ninety: How would you define relationship boredom?
Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario: Relationship boredom is when the spark, excitement, and novelty of the relationship fade, and a sense of monotony sets in. Instead of that intense connection that once felt vibrant and dynamic, your relationship is even keel and at times, mundane. In a nutshell, it’s when there is less adventure and wonder and more predictability and routine
21N: What are some early ways to identify relationship boredom?
Del Rosario: Early signs of relationship boredom often manifest as a lack of enthusiasm for shared activities, decreased meaningful communication, or a sense of emotional disconnection. For instance, suppose you are both used to eagerly sharing your daily experiences, but now conversations feel more obligatory than enjoyable. You may notice that date nights feel more like a checklist item than a celebration – this one is a very telling early signal. A good rule of thumb is if you notice a decline in the joy and eagerness you once felt when spending time together, it might be an early sign of relationship boredom.
21N: Should new couples be concerned about experiencing relationship boredom?
Del Rosario: While it’s natural for the initial passion to settle into a more stable flame, new couples should take notice of any signs of disinterest or emotional distance. Think of [your relarionship] like watering a plant. If you neglect it for too long, it will die. You should not ignore boredom in your relationship, and you should not use superficial ways to inject excitement into the relationship; both will weaken it.
21N: What are the most effective tips for managing relationship boredom?
Del Rosario: Managing relationship boredom always starts with intentionality. You must keep an eye on your relationships pulse and tnotice when you and your partner are not creating space for togetherness and new experiences. As you notice this, I suggest you act quickly. Here is what I would recommend for managing relationship boredom:
1) Rediscover Shared Passions
One powerful way to reignite the flame is by rediscovering shared passions. Engaging in activities you both love can bring back the excitement. This works because it taps into the initial joy that drew you together and creates new, positive experiences.
2) Open Communication
Communication is the cornerstone. Unfortunately, some couples often underestimate its power. Explicitly express your excitement, desires, dreams, and fantasies to your partner. The reason why this works so well is because it fosters understanding and brings unspoken needs to the surface without delay.
3) Invest in Personal Growth Together
Growing individually and as a couple is vital. One way to accelerate this growth is to invest in personal development together. Jointly, you can attend workshops, read how-to and self-help books, or embark on a shared learning journey. This not only enhances your bond but also introduces new dimensions to your connection.
These practical solutions should be enough to add some joy to your partnership and ward off relationship boredom in the long run.