Culturally, gossiping has been seen as an avenue of bonding for many generations. Known as “chisme” or “a kiki,” you probably have distinct memories of seeing your mothers, grandmothers and aunts gossip over family drama. Though sometimes mindful and harmless, their dialogues were often centered around body shaming, slut shaming or just overall shaming.
Newer generations have taken on a new perspective when it comes to gossiping. Millennials and Gen Z are investing less in gossip blogs, becoming girl’s girls and being mindful of their energetic output. Wanting to shield themselves from “evil eye” means not being that for others as well.
It’s important to differentiate between a harmless kiki and gossiping maliciously. Being able to communicate information is a crucial aspect of being human. Gossiping isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just depends on the context. If you find yourself shaming or tearing someone down, your conversation may have entered gossip territory.
If you’re ready to break generational habits and evolve out of gossiping, here’s how to do it.
Have Boundaries
If you know you have people in your life who mainly communicate through gossiping or talking badly about other people, then let them know you’re not willing to invest your energy in it anymore. It may serve as an invitation for them to self-reflect on their habits. Be prepared for them to potentially receive the boundary offensively and take space away from the relationship.
Steer the Conversation Positively
If you see a conversation with someone cross a line, then you can always turn it around simply by planting seeds of support and positivity. Let your input be commentary that uplifts or searches for a silver lining, rather than adding to the teardown. Whoever you’re conversing with may unconsciously notice and make a shift in how they communicate as well.
Pay Attention to Your Body
If you don’t know whether you’re gossiping or sharing harmless information, then pay attention to how your body feels afterward. Does the conversation end with you feeling heavier? Is there any guilt on your conscious? Would you have been ashamed if someone overheard you or spoke about you in a similar manner? These are all clear indicators of whether the conversation was heavier gossip.
Be Self-Aware
When sharing information with friends, try to be as self-aware as possible. This means remembering you’re human and capable of all the mistakes whoever you’re talking about has made. Gossip can feed a superiority complex, so it’s important to remember that everyone is human and mistakes are a part of evolution.
Maintain Your Vision
Many spiritual practices suggest that you get what you put out, and that the energy you expel will only come back around. If you’re calling in abundance and other manifestations, then protect your aura by being mindful of the words you use to irrigate your community. Maintain the vision of the version of yourself you want to be and the life you’re calling in. Protect that vision by centering positivity and speaking about people the way you’d want them to speak about you.