Any visitor of a Toastmasters meeting knows Table Topics is one of the public speaking platform’s biggest secret weapons. The Table Topics Speaker (often called a Topicsmaster) picks any subject or theme, and randomly calls on members and guests to give a one- to two-minute speech about whatever that topic is.
Similar to an improv class, the Toastmasters participant has to respond on the spot regardless of whether they know much about the topic. But unlike improv classes, the goal is not to give a physical response or “act”; the goal is to learn how to give an interesting and well-spoken response. (This does not always happen, and it will usually result in a few laughs and a random story.)
No matter the Table Topics answer, the Grammarian is keeping track of every Table Topics speaker’s incomplete sentences, filler words (ex. um, uh, like, cause), mispronunciations, grammatical mistakes, non-sequiturs (sentences that miss a key detail) or malapropisms (using the wrong word that sounds like the right word, such as “erotic” instead of “erratic”). When the Grammarian gives a summary after all participants speak, each person gets a real-time rundown of how well they did at on-the-spot conversations.
If you’re about to host a party and wonder how to keep a conversation going with friends, dates, family and more people in your social circle, participating in a speech activity like this is one of the most enjoyable ways to break people out of their shells. Through these exercises, you’ll learn how to keep a conversation going like a pro.
Challenges Of How To Keep a Conversation Going
Everybody isn’t a natural speaker. For them, mingling is scarier than horror movies. While some people can talk the ears off of everybody from the favorite cousin, the new employee and that one kid’s imaginary friend, other people would rather find the nearest chair and hide until it’s time to leave.
As a party host of a personal or professional function, it’s way too easy to get caught up in mundane things like appetizer platters and the drink list and not notice a guest who feels ignored. You’ve invited this person, and they showed up. You feel like your job is done. It is not.
“How are you?” and “How’s the family?” can only go so far. “Where are you from?” and “Do you like your new job?” may get you a response with less than five words. Consider an open-ended question instead. One can only say “yes,” “no,” “fine” and “good” but so many times before the conversation grows old.
You can send this shy person off to busy themselves with a two-player card game or a group project, but the more social attendees will usually take that over too. And when they do, that shy person moonwalks right back to that chair in the corner.
Learn What Makes a Less Chatty Person Want To Talk
The reason the Table Topics example (mentioned above) work so well is because everybody is on the same playing field. You don’t have to be an expert in order to participate, and the less chatty person won’t feel drowned out.
Look around at a restaurant or café the next time you go out. Have you ever noticed one or two people making the entire table laugh while there’s always one or two in the group whose lips may as well be glued closed? Is the silent attendee choosing not to talk or just doesn’t feel like they have anything worth contributing?
The quieter person may be more receptive to talking on a one-on-one basis but clam up completely in a large group. All-participant games are one way of showing how to keep a conversation going. If that quieter person has the opportunity to share something interesting and not feel judged (if you exclude the Grammarian), that may be all it takes for their shoulders to relax.
What else works? Actually listening when this person talks. Asking a question just to get someone to talk is not the same as listening to comprehend and engage. And once the quieter person realizes others genuinely want to hear what they have to say, prepare for the Quiet Type to become the Chatty Type too. Enjoy!