Whether at work, in relationships or at the family dinner table, setting boundaries is a crucial part of developing self-respect. Living a life without defined boundaries may make it harder to speak your truth or show up authentically. A life without boundaries might even exhaust your physical, emotional and mental health. Although it may be initially uncomfortable, upholding boundaries will help you honor yourself and others.
With more educators taking on social media to increase awareness, there may be no better time to learn how to hold space for yourself. Read on to see how boundary setting may look for your future.
What are Healthy Boundaries?
There are many ways to set a boundary. In a sentence, boundary setting can be defined as letting others know what your limits are. It is about regaining personal power and holding space for yourself in all situations and relationships.
One example that Life Coach Visa shares on TikTok outlines how meeting a new friend in her city led her to deepen her ability to respect her boundary. In the story, Life Coach Visa shares how she planned to meet her new friend at a concert and was aware that she typically prefers to sit in the front rows when attending a concert. Her friend decided that she much prefers the back rows. Rather than compromising her wishes, the TikToker explains how she found a compromise that allowed her to honor her wishes and still connect with her new friend. They agreed to meet beforehand to have dinner and later would enjoy the concert from their preferred seats.
In this example, there is a vital lesson in not feeling pressure to ignore a boundary for the benefit of another person.
Angel Johnson, a Self Love & Development Coach, also shares her take on overcoming weak boundaries. Having survived an abusive relationship, Johnson shares how she firmly upholds her boundaries. In the video’s caption, she expands on how her previous relationship helped her spot toxic behavioral patterns, which helped her call out the behavior and protect herself.
How to Do it and Stand Up for Yourself
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you a mean person. In fact, it tends to promote self-love and respect. Standing up for yourself when you’re used to giving in is never easy at first, but it does help you grow. Honoring exactly what you want, when you want, is a journey and it takes many shapes. Here are some examples of where it might be difficult to maintain your decisions or boundaries.
- Not wanting to offend elders: This is a classic one that affects many people. The idea of not wanting to ‘talk back’ or come across as disrespectful might make it hard to honor yourself at first. Doing so with respect, for self and others, is certainly key.
- People-pleasing: Recovering people-pleasers may find it hard honor boundaries initially. Hang in there and it will soon be abundantly clear why you should stick to your word.
- Entering spaces where you’ve previously not set boundaries: Reintroductions always are necessary and re-entering a space where you’ve previously abandoned your boundaries might initially be daunting.
- Power dynamics: Power dynamics in the workplace may sometimes cause poor boundary setting. There are ways to learn how to hold space for yourself, whether you are an intern or a manager.
In another TikTok video, Author and wellness TikTok creator Mama Green shares how incorporating some prompts into your journal practice also may help with setting boundaries. Here are some of the journal props she said that you should include to help your boundary setting journey.
- When someone asks me for something or to do something, do I consider the cost of my yes?
- Do I say yes before evaluating if I have the energy to do or give?
- What can I do right now to prioritize self-love and inner peace?