Achieving a good night’s rest can be a challenge. To help you may have to try various natural sleep aids like herbal teas, warm milk, or meditation. You may have never considered it, but there is another tactic to assist you in drifting off to sleep, intimacy. Intimacy before bedtime can help lead to a night of wonderful rest.
“Sexual activity has a lot of benefits. It has helped reduce headaches, improve pelvic floor blood flow, and relax the body. Being able to exert sexual energy and even connect intimately before bed can also help with slumber and is one of the main reasons some people masturbate or initiate intercourse before bed,” shared Dr. Lexx Brown-James, LMFT, CSE, CSES.
Dr. Brown-James is a Ph.D.-level sexologist who teaches about sex positivity at her private practice, The Institute for Sexuality & Intimacy, LLC. She works with lovers to improve intimacy, reduce conflict, and protect relationship longevity and connection.
How Intimacy Before Bed Affects Sleep Quality
According to the sex expert, intimacy before bed has a significant impact on a person’s quality of sleep. For instance, if you’re suffering sleep disturbances like anxiety or restlessness, then you would benefit from sexual activity before bed.
“Engaging in sexual activity before bed impacts the release of hormones oxytocin and prolactin. Both play crucial roles in promoting sleep,” said Dr. Brown-James.
Oxytocin, often referred to as the ‘love hormone,’ releases during sexual arousal and orgasm.
“It promotes feelings of relaxation, reduces stress, and fosters emotional bonding, all of which can contribute to better sleep. Prolactin, on the other hand, is released after orgasm and associated with feelings of satisfaction and relaxation. This further aids in the onset and maintenance of sleep,” she added.
Dr. Brown-James noted that with the release of these hormones, alongside the relaxation experienced during intimacy, stress and anxiety can be alleviated. Better sleep happens when emotional comfort is paired with the release of tension from physical exertion. Additionally, she recommended other forms of intimacy, such as cuddling or gentle touching. They can positively impact sleep more compared to vigorous sexual activity.
Incorporating Intimacy Before Bed
Enhancing the sexual experience for both partners doesn’t have to be complicated. Dr. Brown-James advised several steps to optimize your bedtime routine to enhance intimacy.
“First, to optimize a bedtime routine to create more sexual satisfaction. Does this mean everyone has showered and brushed? Is it important to make sure no one falls asleep with the kid or that we have communicated a desire for sex tonight, and that means one less television show? Further, I ask my clients to engage in sensual play throughout the day to warm each other up and build excitement about sexual play,” she said.
The doctor also suggests that screens, unless being consensually used for pleasure play, be put away so that the focus is on the pleasure within reach, versus adding in distraction.
“And lastly, to make sure there is a little time for connection after the sexual play,” she added. No matter the exhaustion, connection afterward is an important way to add to intimacy and support relaxation for better sleep quality.”