Planning your wedding guest list can be surprisingly challenging. Of course, you want your big day filled with love, joy, and familiar faces, but with limited space, budgets, and the desire to keep it intimate, not everyone can make the cut. Try these questions to guide you in building a guest list that feels right for your day without the stress of inviting everyone and their mother!
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How to Decide Who Makes the Wedding Guest List
Have You Had a Meaningful Conversation with This Person in the Past Six Months?
One of the first questions to ask is whether you’ve truly connected with this person recently. If they haven’t been an active part of your life, they may not need to be part of your special day. Weddings are meant to celebrate the journey you’ve taken with people close to you. If this person feels like a stranger, consider leaving them off the list.
Do They Invite You to Personal Events?
Think about how they’ve reciprocated invitations in the past. Have they invited you to major life events like birthdays, family gatherings, or other milestone moments? If they haven’t, it could be a sign that your relationship with them is not as close or mutually valued. Only invite those who share that closeness with you.
Do You Know Their Last Name?
If someone’s last name escapes you, that might be a sign that they’re not part of your core circle. Your wedding should feel intimate, so consider limiting it to those who you truly know well.
How Would You Feel If You Weren’t Invited to Their Wedding?
Sometimes putting yourself in the other person’s shoes helps clarify things. If you feel a bit “meh” about not being invited to their wedding, they might feel similarly about yours. On the flip side, if their absence on your big day would hurt or surprise you, then they’re likely worth the invite.
How to Make a Wedding Guest List
Creating a wedding guest list takes some strategy, so start by organizing your potential guests into categories. A good rule of thumb is to begin with your immediate family and your closest friends. Next, add in extended family members and close family friends who feel like family. Finally, move to acquaintances, coworkers, and more distant friends. By organizing guests into groups, you’ll get a clearer picture of who is most important to include.
Once you have a rough list, start applying the questions we covered. Be strict with yourself, and don’t feel guilty about saying “no” to distant connections. Your wedding is a reflection of you and your partner’s shared life and values, so don’t feel pressured to invite people who aren’t part of that journey.
Do Kids Factor into Wedding Guest Lists?
Another big question is whether kids should be allowed at your wedding. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. It depends on the vibe you’re going for, the size of your guest list, and even your budget. If your wedding is formal, you might decide to make it adults-only. However, if you and your partner have a lot of little ones in the family or friend group and want a family-oriented day, then making room for kids could add a special warmth to the event.
Make sure to set clear expectations. Mention the policy on your invites. Phrases like “adults-only celebration” can make your preference clear without ruffling feathers. For couples who want a balance, consider a separate kids’ area with activities or even babysitting options to make things easier on parents.
How Many People to Invite to a Wedding
The number of guests you should invite depends on your budget, venue size, and vision. A smaller, more intimate wedding of 50-75 people allows for deeper connections and more quality time with each guest. Larger weddings of 100-150 guests give you the chance to bring in a broader community but may limit the time you can spend with each person.
Decide on a guest number that feels comfortable, then start building your list accordingly. If you find yourself going over, start trimming from the outermost connections first, and remember that there’s no pressure to go big. At the end of the day, a wedding is about celebrating your love with those who genuinely matter.