It’s a real privilege to be able to turn to family when life throws you a curve ball. Living with a family member can provide a comfortable environment while you save money, get back into a good place or think about your next steps. Depending on the relationship, living with family can be a safe haven or a horror film. To avoid the latter there are some tactics to employee to make sure you don’t end up out on the street.
Have a Third Place
Going to work and then straight home every day, for days and even months on end can leave you feeling trapped. Staring at your relatives when you’d rather be in your own place can make an already tense situation worse. Make sure you find a third place. This should be somewhere other than home and work where you can either be alone, socialize or recharge. Having a third option will allow you to be pleasant once you step into your relative’s spot.
Be Clear about Move Out Dates
When you initially ask to move in with a family member, you should also communicate when you plan to move out. People are more willing to share their resources when they know there is an end date to their generosity. Having someone live with you requires you to adapt your energy, even in small ways. Be compassionate to that fact and reassure them that the arrangement is temporary and you won’t be taking advantage of them.
Adhere to Their Rules
You know how it was living with your parents: their roof, their rules. The same applies to moving in with anyone else with whom you share DNA. You’re not there to critique or change the way they run their household. Follow their rules, whether you understand them or not. If you just can’t seem to make it work, that’s all the impetus you need to leave and strike out on your own.
Be Helpful
Go above and beyond. This means that in addition to following the house rules, find ways to help out around the house. Wash the household’s dishes. Pay a utility bill. Organize the infamous junk drawer. Your relative will be so pleased that you took the extra initiative. Your willingness to help out, just might ensure that they help you out in the future.
Check in Often
It’s important to over communicate when you’re under the same roof. Make sure you know how your family member is adjusting to you being in their space. Ask them if there is anything you’re doing that gets on their nerves. Ask them if they’d like for you to help out in specific ways. While you’re getting clear about their feelings, this can be your opportunity to share your perspective. Tell them if there’s anything they can do to make your stay more comfortable. You can delicately discuss the rules (but don’t expect them to change.)