My ex-boyfriend's mother insinuated that I was the cause of her son's downward spiral. His haircuts are less frequent, his suits unkept and he just lost possession of his vehicle. Of course, this all happened after I ended the relationship. I was offended by this accusation because he was the cause of our demise.
Let me give you a crash-course rewind of our relationship: he cheated on me, twice! There was not any proof of a physical act, but trust me when I tell you that I had enough ammunition. The first time I forgave him, but a second time is unforgivable. Also, we have a child under two. Not only do I have to deal with the heartbreak of my boyfriend of 5 years, but I also have to navigate a co-parenting situation with a person that enrages me every time I see his face or hear his voice.
I was so burning with rage, that I actually scared myself. Once the rage subsided, I was left was this hollow sadness. I was depressed — scarily depressed — thoughts of ending everything type of depressed. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t speak a type of depression.
As a woman, I just had to boss up, and still be a great and present mother despite my feelings of inadequacy. I had to “get over” my failed relationship. No one coddled me. No one even asked if I was ok.
Society should end the pressure it puts on women to pity the men they leave behind. If he launched a successful business, I wouldn’t be awarded for pushing him to greatness — I would be shunned for leaving a guy with potential.
It’s not your fault if his life falls apart after the break-up. Trust that you made the right decision. He may not have valued you, but you see your worth. Own it, and don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you owe your ex any peace of mind.
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