Marriage can be a beautiful experience between newlyweds. The decision to cement an eternity of love for each other in a series of vows is exciting and fulfilling.
Through the ups and downs of life, knowing that you have your forever partner to depend on makes a difference. In the whirlwind of encounters life has to offer, the thought that someone else is going through it all with you is comforting. Even if marriage isn’t at the forefront of your own personal relationship goals, listening to other people’s marriage stories helps deepen new viewpoints and give greater insight into what it takes to maintain a prosperous relationship.
Whether you are embracing singleness, figuring out the next steps for a long-term relationship or navigating the ebbs and flows of a marriage, take a page out of the books of these newlyweds. Each within their first year of marriage, these newlyweds learned a lot about themselves, marriage and the true meaning of a union.
Shay and Chris Ruffin
21NINETY: Can you tell me about the moment you both met?
CHRIS RUFFIN: I reached out to Shay about selling shirts. Both of us are journalists, but I have always had an entrepreneurial endeavor. She didn’t reach back out. The next time I DM’d her I saw she moved to Columbia, South Carolina. I was in Charlotte and invited her to lunch. From there, it went nowhere. A few months later, one of my friends had a boat party in Charlotte on the lake. She DM’d me. From there, we started talking back and forth about going to the lake at some point.
She eventually gave me her number, and I started FaceTiming her out of nowhere. She came up to Charlotte and we went on a date. That happened in July 2019, and we officially started dating in September 2019. We did two years long distance and married in October 2023.
21N: How has your relationship grown since first meeting up until now?
SHAY RUFFIN: We had to learn each other. When we first met, we were young and more worried about ourselves. Over time, you learn each other. That’s when you start putting your joint needs over your own needs.
CR: We had to learn how to take care of each other. Within that, we had to learn that it’s okay to spend time away from each other. It’s okay for you to go to the gym by yourself if you need to. It’s okay for you to go out at night with your friend once she’s in town. We had to learn how to care for ourselves and each other.
21N: What advice do you have for other newlyweds who recently tied the knot?
CR: Everything works for everybody differently. You’re not going to do the same thing that one couple does. Your finances are not going to look the same way that another couple does. How you run your household isn’t going to look the same way. What works for us may not work for someone else, but it doesn’t hurt to give it a try.
Nimah and Hammad Muhammad
21NINETY: Can you tell me about the moment you both met?
HAMMAD MUHAMMAD: We shared a mutual friend before I knew her. I saw her at the YMCA, and I asked my friend who she was because I couldn’t stop staring at her. That was the first day I saw her.
NIMAH MUHAMMAD: At that time, I was nine, and he was 10. He was from Dallas, and I was from Houston. I would go to Houston often because my family lived there. We’re both Muslim, so we would try to arrange and go to the mosque on the same Sunday. In the Nation of Islam, we have Saviours’ Day, and in 2020, it is in Detroit.
We communicated throughout the years, but saw each other at Saviours’ Day and talked. What was crazy for us both was that we sat beside each other on our flights back. We had no idea we were on the same flight and had no discussion about it that entire weekend. From then on, I haven’t stopped bothering him since. We started dating in 2020. We had our first child in 2021 and married in early 2022.
21N: What is one thing you have learned about each other since becoming newlyweds?
NM: I learned how dedicated my husband is. You never really know how dedicated a person is until you live with them. That’s when you get to see how early this person gets up, how late they go to sleep, their daily habits, [and] how committed they are to being what they say they want to be behind closed doors. I learned how dedicated he is to being a good husband and striving to be better spiritually, financially and in all these different ways.
HM: I learned how resilient and persistent my wife is through all the different trials we go through. [With] being a mother, focusing on herself and her business, [there] is never the perfect time to do any of that. To watch her do all that she does when the circumstances don’t favor her, she’s tired or had a long day, that is something that’s rubbing off on me.
21N: What newlywed marriage advice have you found to be helpful?
NM: Stay focused. That’s so important for newlyweds, but especially for young newlyweds. There are so many distractions. The world is pulling you in so many different ways. Keeping God at the center, [and] your husband and marriage where they need to be. Setting goals for your marriage and trying to reach them. There are so many things to focus on once you’re married, and you don’t have time to be distracted by things not building up your marriage, especially in its early stages. The foundation is so important.
Kayla and Marcus Geralds
21NINETY: Can you tell me about the moment you both met?
KAYLA GERALDS: The funny part of the story is that we met in 2015 at college during a going away party in Chicago for a different guy I was talking to. Marcus was at the party and didn’t care about any of that. We spoke at the party, and I wouldn’t give him any of my information afterward. He reached out to his brother, who knew one of my friends that I came to the party with, and asked for my information. I gave him my Snapchat and we just kept in contact.
We didn’t start dating until we both graduated from college and moved back home to Chicago. We officially started dating in 2019 and married in October 2023.
21N: What has growth looked like for your relationship from its beginning until now?
MARCUS GERALDS: My emotional maturity has grown. Kayla was the first girlfriend I had. I’ve had past situationships, but I wasn’t emotionally invested in those relationships. Kayla pushed me at the beginning to really open up and self-reflect. We had a lot of tough conversations that led to me growing into my maturity emotionally.
KG: At that point, I had just finished being in toxic situations. In the beginning of our relationship, I was so skeptical about him and our relationship. Once I healed, understood and leaned into the bond we created, we [developed] a beautiful relationship.
21N: What advice do you have for other newlyweds?
MG: Choose to continue to love your partner. Marriage is a challenge, but you have to be willing to embrace that challenge. Think about learning your partner because you’re going to constantly evolve, grow and try to become the overall version of yourselves. The person that you marry at the beginning is not going to be the same person 25 and 30 years down the line. Continue to date one another, prioritizing date night and that one-on-one time.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.