Avid social media users may have heard of or scrolled past Tiktok’s “put a finger down” video trend. In it, a woman holds up one or both hands while going into detail about a scenario. Once the story is over, she puts one finger down to indicate that it was something that happened to her. Sometimes the stories are innocent or funny. Other times they can be traumatic, detailing anything from abuse to being cheated on. It may seem like a harmless social sharing, but there can be risks to oversharing online.
“I think it’s important for women to consider the potential effects on their mental well-being and privacy,” according to therapist Lori Toussaint.
She believes there is an upside and downside to Black women sharing these personal stories with strangers on the internet.
“It can be both empowering and risky,” Toussaint told 21Ninety.
Pros of the “Put a Finger Down” Trend
Posting anything on social media means you have to be ready for good and bad outcomes. The good thing about the “put a finger down” trend is having someone who can relate to your experience. It empowers women by sharing their stories and realizing that they are not alone.
“It helps create a sense of community and breaks down stigmas,” Toussaint said.
Other benefits include raising awareness about important issues women face and receiving positive comments and messages.
Cons of the “Put a Finger Down” Trend
On the other hand, Toussaint says sharing these stories can create unwanted attention for women.
“The downside of sharing personal stories on social media can leave individuals vulnerable to judgment, criticism, and unwanted attention,” Toussaint explained.
Another risk is the accessibility of the content, making it difficult to control who sees it or how it’s used. The stories could also be misinterpreted or taken out of context, leading to unintended consequences.
Negative Comments
To put it plainly, Toussaint does not believe that social media is an overall safe space for women or anyone else for that matter.
“The openness of social media means that content can reach a wide audience, including people who may not be supportive or who might misuse the information,” Toussaint said.
Toussaint suggests making sure you are in a good mental state before participating in this trend. Remember, there is a chance that you could receive negative feedback.
“Women should be cautious and consider the potential risks before sharing deeply personal stories,” Toussaint warned.
Users who make hurtful comments should be ignored or blocked. If the feedback becomes too much to handle, Toussaint says it may be a good idea to take a break from social media.
“In cases of constructive criticism, respond politely and calmly to diffuse any tension,” Toussaint said.
Positive Comments
Not all comments, however, will come with ill intent. Toussaint believe it is also helpful to acknowledge the positive feedback received.
“Responding with gratitude not only increases positive interactions but also [leads] to more conversations and connections,” according to Toussaint.
Alternative Solutions
For some people, participating in the “put a finger down” Tiktok trend may not feel like a big deal. Especially of they have been able to heal from the situation. For others who feel the urge to join in despite lingering emotions, Toussaint says there are other ways to talk about your problems. Speaking with a licensed therapist, of course, is one way to have a confidential space to discuss your experiences. Support groups also offer a way to connect with people who understand your journey.
“Engaging in private online forums and communities creates a safer environment for sharing stories and seeking guidance,” Toussaint said.