We’re all here trying to figure out this glorious journey called life. Some days, months, and years are easy. Everything is working in your favor and you feel absolutely unstoppable crushing your goals. Your career is on fire, your relationships are #goals, and you feel like you’re vibrating at your highest levels. While every day may not go as planned, generally speaking, you feel hopeful and ready to take on the obstacles that may arise.

However, there are also times when this is not the case. Instances when you’ve tried your best at the one thing you're passionate about and it doesn’t seem to be good enough. Or months after graduation when you’ve applied to job after job and still can’t seem to lock down that position in your field. There are moments where you’re crippled by doubt, fear, and exhaustion, unsure if the goal you’ve been fighting for is even worth it.

I’ve been there before. And honestly, I’ve recently found myself back in that space again. It’s difficult to move forward toward the life you truly want when you’re also scared you’ll never achieve it or have faced a lot of obstacles along the way. Nothing in life is certain, so at the very least, we owe it to ourselves to go after the things that ignite us. This is especially true if you just can’t stop thinking about that goal or dream even after being constantly knocked down or turned away.

As cliche as it sounds (and trust me, I hate this phrase too), this is all a part of “the process”. This winding, unpredictable road to whatever it is that you want to accomplish. This isn’t going to look or feel the same for everyone because it's not one size fits all. What came naturally or easy for one person, may be an uphill battle for you. There have been times when I’ve broken down because I didn’t understand why things were so hard for me while others seemed to be excelling in their own lives. This wasn’t because I was jealous or envious of another person’s success, I was just frustrated that my own success always seemed just out of reach.

Time has proven to me over and over that things happen when they are supposed to. If they don’t happen, then it could also be a sign that you have to switch up the strategy or the approach. Sometimes, that leads to the breakthrough you were hoping for and you would never have gotten there if it weren’t for your previous mistakes. Here are a few things that have helped me survive “the process” in the past:

Write it all out

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We’ve heard time and time again that writing is therapeutic. So write down your goals on paper. Seeing them in ink can be the first step in manifesting them into your reality. Write down the things you’re already grateful for to remind yourself that you are enough at the stage you’re currently in. More importantly, write out how you feel about everything you’re going through. This will help you process your emotions and document your journey. It doesn’t have to be poetic or pretty, it’s really all about revealing and connecting to your raw, true self. Plus, it is great to look back and see how far you’ve come and how things have changed.

Find people who support you

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Surrounding yourself with people who have your best interest can really help to keep your spirits high. Confiding in friends and family that you trust about your struggles or your wins will help keep you grounded. They might even offer insights that can propel you along the way. Also, if it's an option, talk to a licensed therapist. They can work with you to unpack your fears, give you tips on how to work around mental health issues that could be holding you back, and open your eyes to new ways of thriving in the present, as you work toward a better future.

take inspiration from people like you

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At times social media can do more harm than good when you feel like people are “quickly” accomplishing goals similar to your own. It can be really discouraging and make you want to give up because things aren’t happening on the timeline you’ve created in your head. Try to shift your viewpoint and find inspiration in your peers. Follow the people who are doing what you want to do, connect with them, learn from them and build your network!

Literally, Just Do It!

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If it’s on your heart, sis go for it! It was placed there for a reason and you’re the only person who can bring it to light in the way that’s unique to you. It may not happen overnight, but with patience, gratitude, and perseverance you can get there.

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Therapist